Tekken Committee
by Saiyan Rage
Summary: Eps 4-6 are up! Although I bet you all read it at KMAS...if not, well, here's your chance! SEE; Jenga, a film festival, and the origin of TEKKEN MONOPOLY! Word!
1. Default Chapter

[pic][pic][pic][pic][pic][pic][pic]TEKKEN COMMITTEE  
  
  
  
By Lord Kazuya (a.k.a. Saiyan Rage)  
  
EPISODE 1: THE BEGINNING OF AN EPIC  
  
It all started with four words:  
  
"I want a committee."  
  
Lee Chaolan glanced at his foster brother. "What would you do if you had a committee?"  
  
Kazuya shrugged his shoulders. "We'd do stuff."  
  
"Like…?"  
  
"I don't know. I haven't thought that part out. I just know that I want a committee."  
  
"When will you start looking for members?"  
  
"Tonight."  
  
"Oh, God...I think I have some idea as to where this is heading," replied Lee as he lit a cigarette.  
  
THE HUNT FOR COMMITTEE MEMBERS--#1: JUN KAZAMA  
  
"Oh my God," said Jun.  
  
"Yeah," replied Kazuya.  
  
"That was…really…really, something."  
  
"I know."  
  
"I can't believe we actually did it in the kitchen without leaving a big mess."  
  
"I thought that way too, but the milkshakes came out great!" exclaimed Kazuya as he finished the rest of his coffee-ice cream shake.  
  
"So you wanted to ask me something?" inquired Jun as she licked the flavor of strawberry ice cream from her straw.  
  
"Huh? Oh yeah. And I hope you say "yes." I'm going to start a committee. Would you be interested in…joining it?"  
  
Jun smiled. "Yes! Oh, yes, Kazuya!"  
  
Kazuya grinned, "You've made me so happy!"  
  
So Kazuya had a member of his committee.  
  
"One down, fifteen to go!"  
  
"Who are you talking to?" asked Lee.  
  
Kazuya almost jumped out of his chair when he heard Lee. "Shit, don't do that!!! I was…uh…talking to my tape recorder journal thingy!"  
  
"You don't have one of those."  
  
Kazuya put Lee in a choke hold. "DON'T PROVE ME WRONG!" Five minutes after, Lee was choking for air. Kazuya smirked.  
  
"We have one member so far. I need you to come with me to look for others."  
  
"What?! Why?! I don't have to go if I don't want to!"  
  
Kazuya sighed, and held out a carton of cigarettes. Lee threw on a pair of Ray-Bans.  
  
  
  
"Let's Roll."  
  
THE HUNT FOR COMMITTEE MEMBERS--#2: NINA WILLIAMS  
  
"Okay, so why do you want Nina on the committee?" asked Lee.  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Well, she tried to kill you during the second tournament—"  
  
"A misunderstanding. We talked about it over tea."  
  
"And she also tried to kill your son—"  
  
"She was under someone else's control. Couldn't be helped."  
  
"And she tried to kill your father too—"  
  
"Exactly."  
  
Kazuya knocked on Nina's door.  
  
"Who is it?"  
  
"The only person other than yourself that looks dead sexy in purple."  
  
"Lee?"  
  
"Very funny." Kazuya rolled his eyes as Nina opened the door to let the two in.  
  
"So, you want me to join a committee?"  
  
"Well, that is the purpose of my visit."  
  
Nina put her teacup down on its saucer. "Why would you want me in the committee?"  
  
"I'm going to be honest. There will be members who will say something intolerably stupid, and in those cases, must be shot. I want you to be the one that shoots them on my say-so."  
  
Nina sat there, drinking her tea. She smiled after her sixth sip of tea. "I'm in! Besides, I got a new gun, and I've been dying to try it out!" She pulled out a rifle that had a ridiculously long barrel.  
  
"Nina…"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Could you…not...point it…this way?"  
  
"What do you mean, Kazuya—oh. Oops, sorry about that," she apologized as she blushed and put the gun away. "So when will the first meeting be?"  
  
"As soon as we get the rest of the members," Lee answered for Kazuya, who was still rather shaken up after having the barrel of a gun pointed at his…well, you know.  
  
THE HUNT FOR COMMITTEE MEMBERS--#5: JIN KAZAMA  
  
"Okay, you haven't spoken to your son in months, and you two are still on bad terms…what makes you think he'll join the committee?" Lee asked skeptically.  
  
"Well, if he's any son of mine, he'll join. Besides, his mom is on it. He can't say no."  
  
Lee shrugged his shoulders. "I still can't believe you're actually letting Lei in."  
  
Kazuya looked at Lee with curiosity. "Why would you say that?"  
  
"He's a renowned flirt, you know."  
  
Kazuya scoffed. "So? He knows better than to even go near my wife."  
  
"And if he does go near her?"  
  
Kazuya pulled out a chef's knife.  
  
"Never mind," muttered Lee. "Also, that Bryan guy scares me; did we have to let him in?"  
  
"Hey, we shouldn't discriminate against reanimated dead people!"  
  
"So, you only did it to prove you don't discriminate?"  
  
"Hell no, I did it because he stole my M&M's, and still hasn't paid me back. I see this as a good opportunity to get it from him. Oh, and he might have some useful input, but I don't care about that."  
  
Lee only sighed. He looked out of his window. "Hey, isn't that Hwoarang?"  
  
Kazuya looked out the window of the car. "Why, so it is. Pull over, Lee."  
  
"But I thought—"  
  
"Jin can wait!"  
  
Lee rolled his eyes and pulled the car over. Kazuya immediately stepped out, and Lee ran after him.  
  
"Are you sure this is a good idea? Hwoarang is a Mishima-hater, you know."  
  
"I'm aware of that." Kazuya smelled the air, and he immediately knew what Hwoarang was smoking. Kazuya shook his head, and muttered something about how much trouble he could get into.  
  
"Hey, Hwoarang?"  
  
Hwoarang jumped out of surprise, then noticed who was talking to him.  
  
"Hey, don't I know you?"  
  
Kazuya glanced to the left and the right. "No. You want to join my committee?"  
  
"A committee? Hell yeah, man. That could be like, cool and stuff. When do I show up?" He went back to smoking.  
  
"I'll let you know," answered Kazuya with a smirk.  
  
THE HUNT FOR COMMITTEE MEMBERS--#6: JIN KAZAMA(Serious this time!)  
  
  
  
"Why did you hire him?!" demanded Lee.  
  
"You see, Hwoarang is high on a regular basis. Someday, he will run out of his precious dope, and he will realize that he has joined a committee run by a Mishima—and he'll realize his mistake, but he can't escape from it, for you see: you're in my committee for life."  
  
Lee shuddered. "That's rather harsh."  
  
Kazuya shrugged his shoulders. "Okay, you're in for life or until I run out of things to do with the committee. How's that?"  
  
"We're here," Lee said, ignoring Kazuya.  
  
Kazuya walked up to the door and knocked. No answer.  
  
"Maybe he's not home," suggested Lee as he lit up.  
  
"Oh no, he's home." He knocked again. No answer.  
  
"We could always come back," reminded Lee.  
  
"Lee, did you not read the title? We're really supposed to get Jin!"  
  
Lee raised a silver eyebrow. "'Title'? What the hell are you talking about?"  
  
Kazuya was ready to hack Lee with a hatchet, but he quickly calmed down and tossed the hatchet away. "Never mind. Anyway, Jin IS home, and I'm going to prove it!" Kazuya left for a minute. Lee continued to smoke, but once he saw what his brother intended to do, the cigarette fell to the concrete sidewalk.  
  
"Oh God."  
  
Kazuya gave Lee a funny look. "What? You don't think this battering ram is too big, do you?"  
  
Lee shook his head. "No...but…don't you think you're carrying this too far? We could always—"  
  
Kazuya smacked Lee with the battering ram, sending Lee flying into the back seat of his car.  
  
"My decision is final!" Kazuya held the ridiculously big battering ram, and rammed it into Jin's door, forcing it open. Kazuya and Lee(who had a bandage on his head) stepped inside.  
  
"Jin, I know you're home! Get your ass out here!"  
  
"That's a fatherly way of saying it," muttered Lee.  
  
Jin stepped out of his bedroom. His shirt was mostly unbuttoned, and he had lipstick kiss marks all over his face.  
  
"Hey, what the hell—DAD?!" Jin clumsily buttoned up his shirt and tried to wipe off as much of the lipstick stains as possible, but only succeeded in smearing it all over his face.  
  
"What are you doing here?!" asked Jin.  
  
"I'm here to put you in my committee, son. I want you to see how daddy leads a committee."  
  
Jin scoffed. "Why would I want to do that?! I don't want anything to do with your committee!"  
  
"Really? Too bad…then I guess Jun and I will be making out and with no- one to stop us—"  
  
"ARRRGH!" Exclaimed Jin. "It's no wonder we haven't spoken! You're so evil!"  
  
Kazuya smiled and folded his arms. "Oh my, yes…"  
  
"Besides, I won't join even if mom is there."  
  
Kazuya's smile vanished, his arms fell to the side. "So…you don't…want to join?"  
  
Kazuya laughed. "That's…okay…" he pulled out his battering ram. "I DON'T GIVE A DAMN! YOU'RE GONNA JOIN EVEN IF I GOTTA PUT YOU IN A CONCUSSION TO ACHIEVE THAT!!"  
  
Jin yawned. "You're also insane."  
  
"I got your insane right here, you little—" replied Kazuya a he held the battering ram up high.  
  
Lee decided that now was a good time to interfere.  
  
"Wait! Kazuya! Jin! I am sure there is a better way of settling this!"  
  
Kazuya immediately calmed down. "Really? Then share, Lee."  
  
Lee cleared his throat. "Well, it's simple, really. Jin, is there no reason at all that you want to join? I'm sure your girlfriend would want to be involved."  
  
At this moment, the girlfriend came in. "Damn, what's all that noise about?" Julia was not very happy.  
  
Jin looked at Julia. "Julia, would you like to join this so-called committee my father is starting?"  
  
Julia nodded. "But only if Ling will join too!"  
  
Kazuya's jaw dropped. He set it back into place and nodded. "Fine, if it means you'll join, boy. Come on Lee, we gotta get Ling."  
  
THE HUNT FOR COMMITTEE MEMBERS--#8: LING XIAOYU  
  
"None of the others better be this stubborn!" declared Kazuya.  
  
"Lord knows what would happen if they were," muttered Lee (who no longer had a bandage on his head).  
  
The two stopped off at Ling's house. They could immediately tell she had an obsession with yellow ribbons, because there was a yellow ribbon on the mailbox, the birdbath, the lamppost in the yard, on the door, and on the rails to the stairs. Kazuya shuddered.  
  
"Too many yellow ribbons. I am already scared out of my mind."  
  
"Be strong!" shouted Lee, who decided to stay with the car and let Kazuya handle the work.  
  
Kazuya rang the doorbell. He mumbled something about getting back at Lee with a 2x4, when a happy Chinese girl with pigtails opened the door.  
  
"Like, hi! What can I like, do for you?"  
  
Trying to remain calm, Kazuya answered: "I'm starting a committee, and I need some people to join. I was wondering if you were interested?"  
  
Ling thought about it. "Like, is it going to be fun?"  
  
Kazuya resisted the urge to yell. "Why…yes! Yes, we will have all kinds of fun!"  
  
Ling thought about it some more. "Like, will there be cute boys?"  
  
Kazuya resisted the urge to strangle her. "Sure, cute boys everywhere, why not?!"  
  
Ling noticed Lee. "Is he in the committee?"  
  
Kazuya tried so very hard to resist the urge to beat her down with a 2x4. "YES," he seethed, "HE WILL BE IN THE COMMITTEE."  
  
Ling thought about it one more time. "Okay. I'm like, in, okay. When do I show up?"  
  
Kazuya pointed at Lee. "The guy with the silver hair will call you."  
  
THE HUNT FOR COMMITTEE MEMBERS--#6(again) & 7: JIN KAZAMA AND JULIA CHANG  
  
(We promise that Jin will really join this time! In fact, if he doesn't, I will style my hair like Paul Phoenix!)  
  
"Please don't," replied Kazuya.  
  
"Who are you talking to?" asked Lee.  
  
"Uh…nobody," Kazuya answered innocently.  
  
"Why did you point at me when you were talking to Ling?"  
  
"Huh? No reason…I just needed to point at something."  
  
Lee glared at Kazuya. "We're here."  
  
"Hrm, they got a new door relatively fast," observed Kazuya. When he knocked, the ended up punching a hole through the door.  
  
"That explains it. It's made of construction paper," concluded Lee.  
  
"Jin!" shouted Kazuya. Jin immediately ran into the room. His shirt was unbuttoned again, and he had even more lipstick kisses on his face.  
  
"Damn, you don't have to yell, dad." Julia came running in.  
  
"So? Did she join?" asked Julia.  
  
Kazuya nodded. "She sure did. Now you two have to keep your end of the deal." He smiled.  
  
Jin shrugged his shoulders and rolled his eyes. "Alright. Julia and I will show up at the first meeting…whenever that is. Do you even know, dad?"  
  
Kazuya's left eyebrow rose. "Yes, I do know, hahaha." Kazuya looked around the room nervously, slowly stepped back, then shouted "Run, Lee!" and they both ran out of the house. Jin and Julia shook their heads as they could hear the screeching of tires from outside.  
  
THE HUNT FOR COMMITTEE MEMBERS--#12: ANNA WILLIAMS  
  
"I still wonder if putting Michelle on the committee was a good idea," said Lee.  
  
"Lee, your problem is that you worry too much. Just because Michelle is very good with throwing axes, doesn't mean she is an ax-murderer!"  
  
"But there was that one room that was sealed off, and she told us not to go in there, and—"  
  
Lee immediately stopped when he saw Kazuya holding the same hatchet from earlier.  
  
"Why did you recruit King again?"  
  
Kazuya sighed. "The guy knows how to throw a party. I may need him should I decide to have a party."  
  
"Okay…and why did we recruit a ninja anyway?"  
  
Kazuya brushed some of his dark hair from his face. "I don't know. I always wanted a ninja in a committee, that's all."  
  
Lee was ready to reply, but he immediately held his tongue.  
  
"We're here."  
  
The two stepped out of the car, and rang the doorbell to Anna's home. Anna opened the door, and greeted them.  
  
"What brings you boys here, hm?" she asked seductively.  
  
Lee was immediately in a trance. "Well, my lovely lady, my brother—" Kazuya elbowed Lee in the gut, which caused Lee to reel over and fall to the ground, writhing in pain.  
  
"I'm starting up a committee. You interested in joining?" asked Kazuya.  
  
Anna smirked. "My sister is going to be in it, isn't she?"  
  
Kazuya nodded his head.  
  
"Well, I guess that means I will have to join…so that I can make her look like a fool. Oh, and if I can, get a date." She winked as she said "date". "When should I show up, Kazzy?"  
  
Kazuya shook a fist at the name "Kazzy". "We'll call you," he answered through clenched teeth.. Anna smiled, blew a kiss at Kazuya and Lee, and closed the door.  
  
"I really hope Nina kicks her ass," Kazuya muttered.  
  
"A little…help…" wheezed Lee.  
  
Kazuya rolled his eyes. "You are so helpless, Lee," he said as he picked up his nicotine-addicted brother.  
  
"I resent that!" exclaimed Lee.  
  
"Resent what?" asked Kazuya.  
  
Lee looked at Kazuya wide-eyed. "Oh, uh, nothing."  
  
Kazuya sneered. "And you say I have issues…"  
  
THE HUNT FOR COMMITTEE MEMBERS #14: PAUL PHOENIX  
  
"WHOA! You're not really going to let Paul in…are you?"  
  
Kazuya smiled. "Of course. His best friend's kid is in my committee, right? Paul will have little choice but to join. Besides, he probably wants to try and upstage me. He will find that to be difficult."  
  
Lee gave Kazuya a rather suspicious look. "There's a reason behind this. I know you."  
  
Kazuya laughed. "Oh yes, there is a reason! Paul's neck was MADE to be strangled, and I will do so. Plus he's so hard-headed, I am sure that I can throw innumerable objects at him, and he'll be okay."  
  
"I think that's only a figure of speech—"  
  
"We're here. Lee, you talk him into joining. He's on good terms with you."  
  
Lee rolled his eyes, and stepped out of the car. Kazuya leaned back in his seat to catch a little shut-eye.  
  
FIVE MINUTES LATER  
  
"Alright, he's in."  
  
Kazuya raised his head. "He doesn't suspect that I'm the head of it, does he?"  
  
Lee shook his head.  
  
"Great. Now then, we have to find one more member."  
  
"But I thought you said there would be eighteen members!"  
  
"I never said I needed eighteen members."  
  
"Yes you did."  
  
"No I didn't. Check the notes-slash-memos I had you take."  
  
Lee flipped through his papers.  
  
"Yep, here it is…you said something about 'one down, fifteen to go'! I'm assuming you excluded you and me in this."  
  
"Lee…"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Remember that talk we had about proving me wrong?"  
  
"I think so—"  
  
"TIME FOR A REVIEW!!!" Kazuya smashed Lee over the head with a dry-erase board.  
  
Kazuya quickly calmed down, while Lee bandaged his head.  
  
"I guess we'll have seventeen members then. But are you sure that I'm not leaving someone out?"  
  
Lee was ready to reply.  
  
"Don't answer that. Well then…I guess we'll just leave that one spot open. Now then, shall we look for the seventeenth member?"  
  
"Do you even know who will be the seventeenth member?"  
  
Kazuya raised a fist, but froze. He laughed nervously.  
  
"You have no clue, do you." Lee stated.  
  
"Don't worry. I know how we can get one. I'll just choose someone randomly."  
  
Lee folded his arms. "Knowing you, you're not going to just choose someone."  
  
"Damn straight. Come on, Lee. We gotta get something from the store."  
  
Lee raised his index finger to ask why they were going there, but he instead shrugged his shoulders and followed.  
  
Tekken characters that hadn't been invited to the committee were gathered in a parking lot behind the Mishima building. They included Marshall Law, Bruce Irvin, all the Jack robots, Kunimitsu, Ganryu, Eddy Gordo, Heihachi Mishima (Who, moments later, was literally smacked out of the parking lot by Kazuya's battering ram), the animals (but they were also kicked out[not literally], because Kazuya stated that animals weren't allowed), Armor King, and Wang Jinrey.  
  
Lee stood in front of the group. He was receiving directions from Kazuya(who was on the roof of the building) through a headset.  
  
"Alright, listen up everyone! When Kazuya gives the word, you're all to run to the roof of the building by taking the stairs!"  
  
Lee listened closely as he got more directions. "Oh, and if you cheat in any way, you will be shot, with the exception of the Jacks and Armor King—if they cheat, they will be tied to some C4 and blown up."  
  
A sudden silence fell onto the crowd.  
  
"Now that you know the rules, just wait for the signal!" Lee turned around and gave a thumbs-up.  
  
Kazuya put his binoculars down, and reached into his bag. He pulled out a can of Surge, and placed it on top of a table. He leaned over the edge of the building and gave the signal:  
  
"SUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRGGGGGGGEEEEEEE!!!!"  
  
The contestants all ran towards the building. Lee barely jumped out of the way.  
  
"Who knew that Ganryu could run so damn fast?!" Kazuya exclaimed in disbelief.  
  
Lee shook his head in disbelief as well. "You'd have never known it, looking at a guy like that."  
  
"So I guess that's it. I've got a committee. When we get back, call everyone, and tell them that the first meeting will be tomorrow."  
  
"What will you do?"  
  
Kazuya pulled out a pad of paper. "I'm going to write down all the members' names, ourselves included, and list our purpose in the committee."  
  
Lee sneered. "Oh Lord."  
  
THE NEXT DAY  
  
"So you called all the members?"  
  
Lee nodded. "They'll be here any minute. Hey, let me see that list you wrote."  
  
Kazuya grinned, and handed the list to Lee.  
  
  
  
THE MEMBERS  
  
Kazuya Mishima: Glorious leader, and a handsome one too!  
  
Lee raised an eyebrow.  
  
Lee Chaolan: My note-taking, record-recording guy.  
  
Lee shrugged his shoulders. "Good enough, I guess…"  
  
Nina Williams: In charge of shooting intolerably stupid people on my word.  
  
Jun Kazama: My sweetie!  
  
Lee tried hard not to snicker at that one.  
  
Jin Kazama(Mishima): He needs to see how I do things so he can be as much of a bad-ass as me.  
  
Julia Chang: I only let her in because it was one of the only ways that Jin would join.  
  
  
  
Michelle Chang: If she really is an ax murderer…  
  
Anna Williams: Any excuse to see her and Nina get into a bitch fight is a good one.  
  
Lee glanced at Kazuya, then returned to the list.  
  
Lei Wulong: I just need him to tell all the other legal guys that what I do in the committee is indeed legal.  
  
Bryan Fury: He owes me some damn M& M's.  
  
King: Guy knows how to throw a party.  
  
Ling Xiaoyu: I only let her in because it was the only way that Julia would join, which was the only way Jin would…  
  
Paul Phoenix: Punching. Bag.  
  
Yoshimitsu: Come on, every good committee needs a ninja!  
  
Hwoarang: When he stops getting high and realizes that he's in a committee led by a Mishima, it's going to be priceless.  
  
Forest Law: He's only in as a ploy to get Paul in.  
  
Ganryu: The lucky bastard that got the Surge.  
  
Lee put the list down. "That's nice…you're not going to show this to anyone in the committee, are you?"  
  
Kazuya shook his head. "Half of them already know why they're there…some have no idea, and the rest are too sick in the head to care."  
  
Lee was about to reply when there was a knock on the door. Nina, Jun, King, and Michelle walked in.  
  
"Hey, honey!" Jun ran up to Kazuya, and the two immediately started to make out. Nina, King, Michelle, and Lee watched with interest. Kazuya eyed the gawking foursome, and immediately stopped.  
  
"If that's their way of saying hello….DAMN!" exclaimed King with a smile (on his mask anyway).  
  
"You four can go ahead and take a seat. The others should be arriving soon."  
  
Jut as soon as Kazuya said this, Jin, Julia, Ling, Yoshimitsu, Lei, and Bryan walked in.  
  
"Mom!" Jjin ran up to his mom and hugged her. He looked up at Kazuya and glared at him.  
  
"Dad."  
  
"Jin," Kazuya replied coldly.  
  
Ling jumped up and down excitedly. "Wowie! I've never been in a committee before! This is like, so exciting!"  
  
Kazuya took two aspirin.  
  
Lei walked up to Jun. "How are you today, lovely Jun?" He reached for her hand to kiss it, but was immediately intimidated upon seeing Kazuya pull out a sword that looked strangely like the Buster Sword Cloud Strife had in Final Fantasy 7. He sat down in a chair at the end of the table.  
  
Hwoarang stumbled in.  
  
"Dad," exclaimed Jin, "Why did you invite him?!"  
  
Kazuya walked up to Jin, and whispered the answer to him.  
  
Jin looked at Kazuya in disgust. "You really are evil." He smiled. "But that would be pretty funny."  
  
"Hey, what's going on, everyone?" asked Hwoarang. "Shall we get this party started?"  
  
"Did someone say 'party'?" King pulled out a keg of beer.  
  
"DAMMIT, this is a committee meeting, not a party!" King put the keg away.  
  
"Oh wait, it is?" asked Hwoarang. He looked around. "Dude, it is. Hell yeah. Okay." He sat down next to Nina, leaned back, and propped his feet on the table.  
  
Nina waved the air around her. "What the hell were you smoking, Hwoarang?"  
  
Hwoarang turned around and noticed that Lei was looking at him suspiciously.  
  
He faced Nina. "Imported cigarettes."  
  
Nina noticed Lei as well. "Oh, okay…"  
  
Anna walked into the room.  
  
Nina jumped out of her chair. "Why is that slut in here?!"  
  
Anna smiled. "Isn't it obvious? Kazuya must think me better-looking than you."  
  
Nina scoffed. "Please. I bet he let you in so you could be target practice for me!"  
  
Anna walked up to Nina and slapped her.  
  
All the guys immediately looked at the two.  
  
Nina rubbed her cheek. "You bitch!" She slapped Anna back. The tow then engaged in a slap fight.  
  
"Oh hell yeah! I love this committee already!" exclaimed Hwoarang.  
  
"I'm taking bets!" announced King.  
  
"Twenty on Anna!" exclaimed Lei.  
  
"I bet a hundred on Nina!" exclaimed Jin.  
  
"Me too!" exclaimed Kazuya as he waved a hundred.  
  
Jun slapped her son and husband upside their heads. The two looked at Jun.  
  
"I'm sorry mom," whimpered Jin.  
  
"Sorry, honey." Kazuya turned to the excited crowd.  
  
"Alright, come on, we have a meeting to hold!"  
  
No-one listened.  
  
"I said, 'we have a meeting to hold!!'"  
  
Still no-one listened. In that instant, Kazuya turned into Devil Kazuya, and said:  
  
"IF YOU DON'T STOP RIGHT NOW, I WILL MAKE YOU REGRET IT."  
  
All participants of the chaos immediately stopped. Devil Kazuya changed back to Kazuya.  
  
"Thank you," he said in a gentle tone. He leaned towards Lee. "Lee, take a memo: committee needs to learn to shut up." Lee recorded this immediately.  
  
At this time, Paul and Law (who was shaking violently—must have been on riding with Paul on his motorbike) walked in.  
  
"Hey, did we just miss something? I heard a lot of noise coming down the—YOU!!!"  
  
Kazuya smiled. "Glad you could make it, Paul."  
  
Paul froze with shock. "Oh, hell no! I'm outta here." He tried to open the door, but found that impossible. "It's locked from the outside?!"  
  
Kazuya nodded. "So now you have to stay."  
  
Paul sneered. "It doesn't matter. All I have to do is charge up my fist, and—"  
  
A hatchet flew past Paul, and cut an inch of his towering hair off.  
  
"OH MY GOD!" Paul held the cut off pieces of his hair in his hands, and then faced Kazuya. "You bastard!"  
  
"Just sit your ass down in that chair, Paul. And don't try to leave again, or else." Kazuya pointed to Nina, who held her new gun (the one with the really long barrel). "So, is everyone here?"  
  
Before anyone could speak up, someone shouting "Wait for me!" could be heard.  
  
Michelle and Julia looked at each other, then at the door. "Oh God," they said in unison.  
  
Ganryu barged in. "I'm not late, am I?"  
  
Kazuya shook his head. "Just sit in that empty chair." Ganryu did so—next to Michelle. Michelle's face fell in her hands.  
  
"Why me?" she whined.  
  
Kazuya smiled. "Alright. The first meeting of the committee shall begin. First off, we will be going over the rules. The rules are:  
  
1. As head of the committee, I am to be respected at times.  
  
2. You will respect Jun.  
  
3. You will not laugh at me when I show affection to Jun.  
  
4. You will not ogle Jun.  
  
Lei glared at Kazuya.  
  
5. You will speak only when it's open forum.  
  
6. You will not contradict, correct, or make of fool of me at any time.  
  
7. Failure to comply to these rules will result in your getting shot, chopped, hacked, smashed, bashed, stabbed, impaled, broken, smacked, whacked, trashed, beaten, or hit by innumerable thrown objects.  
  
"So, do we have an understanding?"  
  
The committee nodded.  
  
"Good. Oh, and the first person to groan about my rules gets shot. *ahem* Today's meeting, we will find a name for our committee…"  
  
NARRATOR: SO THAT WAS HOW KAZUYA FOUND THE MEMBERS AND STARTED HIS COMMITTEE, LATER NAMED THE TEKKEN COMMITTEE. FROM HERE ON OUT, THE TEKEN COMM—  
  
Kazuya shook his head. "You don't have to say it in caps like that, you know. We can read you just fine."  
  
NARRATOR: Oh? I only did it because I needed the attention.  
  
"Yeah, whatever." Kazuya shrugged his shoulders.  
  
"This is only the beginning of the adventures of the Tekken Committee, headed by me, Kazuya Mishima. I hope that you enjoyed this first installment."  
  
"I bet some of you were offended by the way the author made fun of your favorite characters. Well, if it makes you feel any better, she made fun of me too(I'm a psycho in severe need of anger management classes, and should be kept far away from sharp objects! I'm not really like that!). Besides, this was all for fun, nothing more!  
  
"There will be more stories in this series, so I hope you all will support it as best you can. Just remember: This is supposed to be a stupid fan fiction. Nothing makes sense, people get abused one paragraph and are okay the next, and the committee are all made fun of in some way(but I will leave the figuring out to you). But I thought it was pretty damn funny.  
  
"Well, I'm going to shut up now. I hope you all weren't offended so badly, that you will no longer read the Tekken Committee series ever again. Until Next Time…"  
  
NEXT EPISODE: The Unmasking of Kunimitsu! (Or, "How the Tekken Committee Created a Fake Beauty Pageant As An Attempt to Unmask Said Kunimitsu, But That Particular Title Would Have Been Too Long")  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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	2. The Unmasking of Kunimitsu

THE UNMASKING OF KUNIMITSU! (or, "HOW THE TEKKEN COMMITTEE CREATED A FAKE BEAUTY PAGEANT AS AN ATTEMPT TO UNMASK SAID KUNIMITSU, BUT THAT PARTICULAR TITLE WOULD HAVE BEEN TOO LONG")  
  
By Lord Kazuya(a.k.a. SaiyanRage a.k.a ShadowIvy, a.k.a Miss "I Can't Decide on ONE name")  
  
It all started with a question:  
  
"What do you suppose that Kunimitsu girl looks like without her mask?"  
  
Lee looked at Kazuya. "You must be really bored."  
  
Kazuya glared at Lee. "Hell no! I'm just curious, that's all."  
  
Lee nodded in understanding. "In that case, I'm curious too."  
  
"Alright then. Call the committee."  
  
NARRATOR: SO KAZUYA DECIDES TO HOLD A MEETING WITH THE COMMITTEE IN REGARDS TO KUNIMITSU AND A PLAN TO MAKE HER LOSE HER MYSTERIOUS MASK.  
  
Kazuya shook his head. "I thought I told you that you didn't have to talk like that!"  
  
NARRATOR: Sorry, sorry!  
  
Kazuya cleared his throat to get the committee's attention, however, they still had not learned to be quiet upon being told to. Kazuya pulled out a megaphone, and shouted:  
  
"SHUT THE HELL UP WHEN I'M TALKING!"  
  
Everyone did so.  
  
"Lee, memo: 're-teach committee to learn when to shut up'. Anyway, I called you all here for a very important reason—"  
  
" You're going to apologize for every mean thing you've ever done to us?" Paul interrupted with a sneer.  
  
"HAHAHAHAHA! Hell no." Kazuya leaned towards Lee. "Tell me again, WHY is he on this committee?" he whispered.  
  
"I believe you said his neck was perfect for strangling."  
  
  
  
"Thank you." Kazuya sat forward, shaking his head. "I'm here to announce a plan so ingenious, only I could have thought of it."  
  
"Great, must be something along the lines of killing his father," replied Paul with a sneer. Within seconds, he was punched in his jaw.  
  
"Anyway," continued Kazuya as he removed his fighting gloves, "this is NOT another plan in which I try to kill my father, so you can all relax…"  
  
Kazuya felt like punching out a large portion of the committee when he heard their remarks about how tired and overdone his plans to kill his father were. However, he kept calm, knowing an opportunity to do so would arise soon.  
  
("Besides," Kazuya added, "There has been no such meeting in which I discussed how we were going to kill my father. Give me some credit here, people!")  
  
"Behind this cloth is my plan…I'm going to show you before some of you go mental from waiting so long." With that, Kazuya removed the sheet, and on it was a very crude, almost Picasso-like drawing of Kunimitsu, except there was a question mark where her face would have been.  
  
Lei had to say something: "And you call this piece..?"  
  
Kazuya sneered. "Very funny, Lei Wu-Lame. Okay, so I'm not Crystal Aura, PMBQ, Fanty, Ron Chan, or even that psycho Saiyan-what's her-face, but I think you get the general idea!"  
  
"You want us to try and draw a question mark on Kunimitsu's face?" asked Bryan.  
  
Kazuya smacked his forehead, and made a violently shaking fist, ready to put the hurt on Bryan. "No…the plan is to try…and get Kunimitsu…to…lose the mask."  
  
Nina looked up from her gun, which she was cleaning. "Now that you mention it, I have been rather curious."  
  
"You think she keeps it on because she's afraid you girls will get jealous of her?" asked Lei.  
  
"Not bloody likely," muttered Anna.  
  
"Well, I think we can assume that she's nothing like your skanky ass," Nina muttered.  
  
"You bitch! Take that back!"  
  
"Yeah right!"  
  
Not a second after Nina's retort, Anna slapped Nina, and she responded in the same way. The committee began to cheer wildly, holding up cash as they shouted the woman they bet it on.  
  
Jun approached Kazuya. "Dear, you need to put a stop to this…even Jin is involved in the chaos!"  
  
"I'd really like to honey, but I think I'm going to allow this."  
  
Jun replied with the a glare so cold, it made Nina's look scorching.  
  
"Alright, if you don't stop with the bitch-slapping and bet-placing, I'm going to jump in and kick some ass!!!"  
  
Everyone immediately became orderly once more.  
  
"Gotta love that Devil side," Kazuya muttered to himself. "Lee, take a memo. Get a gavel. A really big gavel. A gavel big enough for me to knock Paul out with."  
  
Kazuya cleared his throat again. "Now then…anyone else have any thoughts as to why Kunimitsu wears that damn mask 24-7?"  
  
"Me, me!" exclaimed Hwoarang as he flailed his hands wildly.  
  
"Alright, go ahead."  
  
Hwoarang still flailed his arms.  
  
"Stop that."  
  
"Sorry…anyway, my thoughts were that she may be a really ugly chick man- wait! Dude! What if she was, like, a dude? You know, the ones that take hormones or some crap like that to look like a girl?"  
  
  
  
Kazuya raised an eyebrow. "I'm sorry I even dignified you, you damn junkie!"  
  
"I'm not a junkie!" Hwoarang protested. "Oh man, the room's changing colors…whee…." He soon fell out of his chair, going on about the changing colors.  
  
Kazuya shook his head.  
  
Jun raised her hand.  
  
"Yes, honey?"  
  
Paul snickered, but was soon silenced by a brick to his head. Kazuya muttered something to himself, then nodded. "Go on."  
  
"I was thinking that maybe we should have a beach party, but she might end up wearing a scuba mask, so never mind." Jun lowered her head.  
  
"Boy, that was a really good one!" sneered Paul. He was then smacked by a really big concrete block.  
  
"Hey, what counts is that you tried, sweetie." Kazuya immediately pulled out another really big concrete block in case someone else tried to say something funny. He put it away after a long silence, and noticed Hwoarang's hand in the air. "What now, you damn junkie?!"  
  
"Hey, I'm not a junkie!" Hwoarang protested again. "While I was on the floor, I realized that the best way to get that Kuni chick to lose her mask is to hold a fake beauty pageant!"  
  
Kazuya was ready to throw a chair at Hwoarang, but Hwoarang's idea came to him sooner than the idea of throwing the chair did. Kazuya immediately put the chair down. "That is actually a good idea. Lee, jot this down: Hwoarang can actually think of something good when high. Alright, so what do you ladies think?"  
  
Jun smiled at Kazuya. "I'd like to participate."  
  
Lei cheered, and was soundly struck by a chair.  
  
Anna stood up and shook her hips. "Of course I'll do it."  
  
Ling jumped for joy. "Yay! Pageants are like, fun and stuff! I'm totally going to the, like, mall, and get me a dress!"  
  
Julia held up a determined fist. "I'll definitely do it."  
  
Michelle stood up too, holding a determined fist as well. "I'll do it too. This may be fun—"  
  
She turned to see Ganryu staring and drooling.  
  
"—so long as you keep him as far away from me and Julia as possible."  
  
"Did you get that, Lee?" asked Kazuya.  
  
Lee looked up from his notepad. "Uh, yeah, sure." Kazuya eyed Lee in a threatening way, then focused his attention towards Nina.  
  
"Nina?"  
  
"If you think I am going to participate in this damn contest of yours, you are dead wrong."  
  
Kazuya shook his head. "Oh God...Nina, if you participate, I'll give you the one thing you've always wanted."  
  
Nina looked at Kazuya with starry eyes. "You mean?"  
  
Kazuya nodded. "Yes."  
  
Nina shrugged her shoulders. "What the hell...it's worth it. But if any one of you give out catcalls to me, I'm going to give you my f,f+3 attack!" She folded her arms and nodded.  
  
Kazuya raised an eyebrow.  
  
Lee scratched his head. " 'f,f+3 attack'? What's that? Irish slang for 'I'm gonna beat your ass' or something?"  
  
"Maybe it's the name of one of her guns," suggested Jin.  
  
Nina shook her head and rolled her eyes. "I'll just shoot you, okay?!" she replied through clenched teeth.  
  
"Okay then, that's settled. Jun, you're the most people-friendly; you should invite her to it. Everyone else, we got preparations to make for this fake pageant!"  
  
A REALLY LARGE, EMPTY ROOM IN THE MISHIMA HOUSE  
  
"Alright, I want to see real decorations, not some cheap, tacky-ass excuses for decorations!" ordered Kazuya.  
  
"How come you're not helping out?" whined Julia.  
  
"I'm motivating you people to do it right. Would you rather have Ganryu motivate you?"  
  
Julia shuddered. "You got a point."  
  
Lee approached Kazuya. "Hey Kazuya, Michelle just got the balloons, but she got them in the wrong colour."  
  
Kazuya glared at Lee. "So? Tell her to take them back and get the right ones!"  
  
Lee shivered. "I'm afraid she'll hack me."  
  
Kazuya hit Lee with a stool. "You are so paranoid! Michelle!"  
  
Michelle looked up at Kazuya's direction. "Yes?"  
  
Kazuya waved his hand, beckoning her to come to him. "Come here for a minute."  
  
Michelle walked up to Kazuya. "Yes?"  
  
"I noticed that you did not buy the right colour of balloons like I wanted. Also, I don't think it is anyone's birthday today. Do you mind taking them back and getting them exchanged for the ones I requested?"  
  
Michelle twitched for a moment, which made Lee flinch.  
  
"No problem! I'll be back before you even begin miss me!"  
  
"That long, huh?" Kazuya muttered to himself. He noticed that Lee was clinging onto him like a leech.  
  
"Lee, get the hell off of me."  
  
Lee shivered. "Didn't you see how she twitched? She's going to kill someone, I just know it!"  
  
Kazuya looked at his brother with concern. "You are really are scared, aren't you?"  
  
Lee nodded.  
  
Kazuya placed his index finger and his thumb on his chin. "I see...Lee?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"GET YOUR SORRY ASS BACK TO WORK!" With that, Kazuya smashed Lee with a tennis racket, sending Lee flying across the room. Kazuya shook his head, and continued to observe the work in progress. He then noticed Paul resting in a lounge chair.  
  
"Paul!! What the hell do you think you're doing?!"  
  
Paul waved his hand in a "go away" gesture to Kazuya. "The hell does it look like? I'm taking a break."  
  
Kazuya cracked his megaphone. "There's no breaks until I say so, slacker- boy! Now get back to work!"  
  
Paul yawned. "Maybe la—"  
  
He was interrupted by a tennis racket, which hit him directly on his head, knocking him off of his lounge chair. Kazuya then threw a canister of tennis balls at Forrest Law.  
  
"Ow...what'd I do?!" he asked as he rubbed his head.  
  
"You didn't try to tell Paul that he needed to work."  
  
"But I did try to tell him to get back to work!"  
  
Kazuya needed another way to justify his actions.  
  
"Well, uh...you, uh, you didn't try hard enough!! Now get back to work before I throw another canister at you!"  
  
Jun walked in moments later.  
  
Kazuya waved at Jun. "Hey honey! Good news, I hope?"  
  
Jun nodded. "She's agreed under one condition: That a crown is given to the winner of the contest."  
  
Kazuya raised both eyebrows. "A crown?"  
  
"Or a tiara."  
  
Kazuya shrugged his shoulders. "Fine, whatever. Lee!"  
  
Lee (who was wearing a cast on his arm) walked up to his brother. "What do you want now?"  
  
"We have to take another trip to the store," answered Kazuya. He stepped down from his stool. "However, since I gotta make sure the committee gets their jobs done, you need to get these items for me."  
  
Kazuya handed Lee a list, which amazingly came into fruition only two minutes after Kazuya learned that a tiara (or crown) was needed.  
  
Lee scanned the list. "Glitter? Gold sequins? GLUE?!"  
  
Kazuya patted a metal bat. "You want to make something of it?"  
  
Lee shook his head rapidly. "No! I'll be back soon enough!"  
  
Lee ran out the door. He was greeted by Michelle, which only made him run out faster.  
  
Michelle shrugged her shoulders, and showed Kazuya the balloons. "Are these the right ones?"  
  
Kazuya inspected the gold-coloured balloons, and pulled out a gold paint- pen. "Perfect, except for the 'Prom 2000' part. Just take this pen and mark it out as best you can."  
  
Michelle twitched again, and then took the paint-pen. "No problem!" she exclaimed.  
  
Kazuya drummed his hands on the side of the stool, then picked up his megaphone. "Hey Yoshimitsu! Get over here for a minute."  
  
Yoshimitsu walked up to Kazuya. "What's up?"  
  
"I suddenly realized that you have not said a thing ever since we came up with this plan."  
  
Yoshimitsu scratched the back of his head. "Why would I have anything to say?"  
  
"Well, I understand that Kunimitsu is your big-time rival. I thought that you might have some objection to this."  
  
Yoshimitsu shook his head. "I'm actually curious as to what she looks like without her mask."  
  
Kazuya almost jumped out of his chair. "I thought she was with your crew for a while! Surely she didn't have that mask before she joined...did she?"  
  
Yoshimitsu nodded. "She's had that mask on for the longest time now. I've never seen her without it myself."  
  
Kazuya clenched his fist. "Damn. Oh well. Say, does she—hold on a second." Kazuya grabbed a bookcase shelf and threw it a Lei.  
  
"Don't think I don't see you trying to court my Jun, Lei WuLame! Get your flirtatious ass back to work!"  
  
He returned his attention to Yoshimitsu. "Now, where was I? Crap, I don't remember. Oh well, back to work with you. "  
  
As Yoshimitsu went back to helping the decorations, Kazuya noticed Hwoarang was tripping out again.  
  
"Hwoarang, just what in the hell are you doing?! You're supposed to be fixing up that light structure!"  
  
Without looking at Kazuya, he replied, "Dude, the lights, man. I can see all the movements my hands make...cool, man."  
  
Kazuya raised a chair over his head, until he noticed Jin wasn't busy—with the work anyway. "Jin!"  
  
Jin rolled his eyes as he turned away from Julia and towards his father. "Yes, dad?"  
  
"Finish up those light fixtures. Hwoarang is no longer in any condition to do so."  
  
Jin rolled his eyes. "Yes, dad." He set right to work.  
  
Kazuya gave himself a nod of satisfaction, then eyed what Ling was doing.  
  
Ling was humming a Backstreet Boys/N'Sync/whoever-the-hell-it-is-because- they're-all-the-same tune, when she was startled by the booming voice of Kazuya(well, it was booming only because he had that megaphone):  
  
"LING! What do you think you're doing? We don't need any of those damn yellow ribbons!"  
  
Ling smiled. "But they like, make the room look totally cute!"  
  
Kazuya buried his face in his free hand. He removed his face from the hand, and spoke through the megaphone again.  
  
"We have a ton gold ribbons! Why the hell aren't you using those?!"  
  
Ling's smile became bigger. "Well, like, I couldn't find them. So I brought out my own set, you know?"  
  
Kazuya resisted the urge to throw a 2x4 at her. "Well, start taking them down! Nina!"  
  
Nina looked up at Kazuya. "Yes?"  
  
"Where did all those gold ribbons go?"  
  
Nina looked around. She shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. Why are you asking me?"  
  
"Because I thought maybe you tied your sister up with them."  
  
Nina scoffed. "Give me a little credit, Kazuya! I didn't tie her up with them!..." She put her hands behind her back and looked away innocently. "I simply...gagged her and tied her up with them , that's all."  
  
Kazuya rolled his dark eyes, then shook his head. "Then go out and get more! And when you come back, I need you to burn those yellow ribbons once Ling takes them down."  
  
Nina looked at Kazuya strangely. "Why?"  
  
Kazuya put on a pair of sunglasses. "Because when Jin tested one of the spotlights on them, they became so bright, they started to burn my retinas. Now hop to it!"  
  
Nina complied, and left. At that moment, Lee entered (without a cast this time). "I got the stuff you needed." He pulled out a few of the items. "Glue, gold sequins, gold glitter, gold glitter glue, gold confetti, some rhinestones, gold spray-paint, and a Burger King crown."  
  
Kazuya took the bag. "Good work. Speaking of work, I need you to get some chairs and tables. Get to it now."  
  
Lee moaned, but was instantly hit by a very large dictionary. "Ow, dammit! Where the hell do you get all those objects from anyway?"  
  
Kazuya responded by throwing a very large thesaurus at him. "Alright, alright, I'll get back to work."  
  
Kazuya was about to get comfortable, when he saw King bring in the drinks.  
  
"KING!"  
  
King looked over at Kazuya. "Did I do something wrong?"  
  
Kazuya laughed. "Hahaha...'Did I do something wrong'...King, what does the label say on that keg?"  
  
King looked at the label. "Imported beer."  
  
Kazuya replied in an unusually calm tone, "What did I specifically request?"  
  
King scratched the back of his head. "Red wine."  
  
Kazuya nodded. "Will you go back and try it again?"  
  
King nodded. "Uh, sure thing!" King dashed towards the door. Good thing he didn't throw anything at me, he thought.  
  
"King, aren't you forgetting something?"  
  
King turned around. "I don't think I—"  
  
He was struck by a keg of beer.  
  
Nina came back. "Alright, I got the ribbons!"  
  
Kazuya nodded, ignoring how unusually fast Nina acquired them. "Great." He faced Ling. "Hey, I thought I told you to take those ribbons down!!"  
  
Ling overheard. "No! I spent forever putting them up! Besides, they're too pretty to look at!"  
  
" 'Pretty' isn't the word," Kazuya muttered to himself. "Jin!"  
  
"Yes, dad?" he asked unenthusiastically.  
  
"Hit all the lights, and aim them at those yellow ribbons."  
  
Kazuya quickly put on his sunglasses, which was strange, because it didn't say anywhere in this story that he took them off.  
  
"I don't have to be consistent if I don't want to," stated Kazuya.  
  
"Who are you talking to?" asked Nina.  
  
Kazuya almost jumped out of his chair. "Nobody. Jin, hit the lights already!"  
  
Jin did so. The ribbons shone a light whose brightness could rival that of the sun.  
  
"Oh my god! Turn off the sun!" shouted Law as he covered his eyes.  
  
"Damn, Ling...where the hell did you get those ribbons from anyway?" asked Nina as she shielded her eyes.  
  
"My retinas are on fire!" whined Lei.  
  
"Whoa...dude, that's pretty bright," said Hwoarang.  
  
"Are we gonna get radiation poisoning for this?" Julia asked rhetorically.  
  
"I don't see anything wrong," said Bryan as he shrugged his shoulders.  
  
Kazuya sighed. "Turn it off, Jin!"  
  
"I can't find the switch!"  
  
"I'll handle this!" Nina grabbed a pair of sunglasses, and shot the light.  
  
"Majority rules, Ling. Lose the ribbons. Nina, when those ribbons are down, burn them. Quickly."  
  
Ling sighed, and began taking them down.  
  
"Ganryu! Get your fat ass back to work!"  
  
Ganryu looked at Kazuya. "But I am working!"  
  
Kazuya's fists shook violently. "Watching Michelle work is NOT work! Go help Lee get the furniture in here!"  
  
"But I already told you, I AM—"  
  
Ganryu barely managed to dodge the barrage of machine-gun bullets. He used the same speed that helped him win the Surge to leave the room before he could be shot.  
  
Kazuya handed the MP5 back to Nina.  
  
"Jun!"  
  
Jun walked up to Kazuya,  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I need some aspirin and a glass of water...could you—?"  
  
Jun nodded. "Okay." She left to grab the requested items. Kazuya shook his head.  
  
"Lee, take a memo: teach committee to follow directions properly. Have Ling shot if she brings another damn yellow ribbon to another meeting again. Have Ganryu tied to C4 the next time he tries to defy me again. "  
  
EVENING THE NEXT DAY  
  
"It took forever, but we finally did," stated Kazuya. At this point, all the characters were very tired and worn out; even Kazuya showed signs of fatigue. "Alright, you ladies better hurry up and get ready! Kuni will be here at any given minute!"  
  
The ladies left the room. Kazuya folded his arms, and shook his head.  
  
"The rest of you need to wear something much more suitable. Go change. Now!"  
  
"Hey, how come you're not changing out of that damn purple suit?" demanded Paul. Kazuya grabbed Paul by the throat.  
  
"NOBODY MESSES WITH THE PURPLE SUIT," he replied as he throttled him. "Now go change, lest I break your neck."  
  
FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER  
  
"The ladies should be here any minute now," said Lee.  
  
Kazuya nodded. "Great. Alright, Hwoarang! Hwoarang, where are you, you damn junkie?!"  
  
Hwoarang scowled at Kazuya. "Damn it, I'm not a junkie!"  
  
Kazuya ignored this, and looked at Hwoarang's outfit. He wore black jeans, and a T-shirt that had a picture of a tuxedo on it.  
  
He shook his head. "Hwoarang...this is really sad."  
  
Hwoarang shrugged his shoulders. "I don't see anything wrong with my outfit!"  
  
Kazuya wanted to break a bulletin board over Hwoarang's head so very badly. "Don't tell me you spent all your money on dope."  
  
Hwoarang shook his head. "Imported cigarettes. They're imported cigarettes, dude."  
  
Kazuya rolled his eyes. "Fine...get your ass up there and work on the lights, okay?"  
  
Hwoarang nodded lazily. Lee ran up to Kazuya.  
  
"Hey, do you have the crown-tiara thingy?"  
  
Kazuya pointed at the display case which carried the golden tiara. Lee inspected it.  
  
"Wow...you'd never know it was made of gold sequins, some other shiny fake crap, and a Burger King crown," he said.  
  
Kazuya nodded. "Yup. Now Kuni has no choice but to show up!"  
  
Lee nodded. "Have you got a judge for this?"  
  
Kazuya's eyes shot wide open. "Holy shit!" He knew he didn't, but he didn't want Lee to know that he didn't know—"I sure do!"  
  
Lee raised a silver brow. "Then tell me who it is."  
  
Kazuya bit his lip. He smiled moments after. "Well, I...uh...I found this guy who judges really well, and uh, he...damn, I'm not even going to lie. I spent so much time making the crown, I completely forgot."  
  
Lee sighed, then grinned. "Don't worry. I already got someone, in case you forgot."  
  
Kazuya stared at Lee blankly. "Lee...normally, I would by putting my fist right on the bridge of your nose, but under the circumstances..."  
  
Lee let out a sigh of relief, but was punched in the gut before he could completely let the sigh out.  
  
Kazuya brushed some loose strands of hair from his face. "Thanks Lee."  
  
"No....problem..."  
  
Kazuya grabbed a megaphone. "Alright, places people...judging panel, take your places...Hwoarang, lights please..." Kazuya noticed who the judge was: Lei.  
  
Kazuya made a note to throw a pedestal at Lee when all was said and done.  
  
Jin walked up to Kazuya. "Just so you know, that ninja girl with the mask is here."  
  
"She has a name you know."  
  
Jin shrugged his shoulders. "I know...I just didn't feel like saying it."  
  
Kazuya ignored Jin's laziness. "Shall we begin?"  
  
The audience gave an unenthusiastic "yes". Kazuya grabbed his battering ram.  
  
"SHALL WE BEGIN?"  
  
The audience gave an unenthusiastic "hell yes". Kazuya shook his head, and shrugged his shoulders.  
  
"Alright...Lee, send the first one in."  
  
Lee nodded. "Come on out, contestant number one!"  
  
Jun Kazama stepped on the stage, wearing a strapless white silk gown with a rhinestone hair-band, rhinestone shoes, and silk gloves on her arms. The audience clapped, but did not dare to give her cat whistles, because Kazuya was holding a double-barrel shotgun in front of them.  
  
"You look great, mom!"  
  
Jun smiled. "Thank you!" Suddenly, a bouquet of white roses was thrown to her. She caught it gracefully, and read the note. She looked into the crowd, and saw Kazuya with a smirk on his face. She smiled.  
  
"Alright, call out the next one, Lee!"  
  
"Okay...contestant number two!"  
  
Michelle Chang stepped onto the stage, wearing a satin evening gown of ebony color.  
  
"Give her the tiara!" shouted Ganryu.  
  
Michelle rolled her eyes, but continued to walk onto the stage with cheers and endure the catcalls from Ganryu.  
  
"Next one!"  
  
"Alright...contestant number three!"  
  
Nina Williams made her way to the stage, wearing a spaghetti-strap violet evening gown, sating gloves that covered most of her arms, a black scarf, and black high heels.  
  
Kazuya's jaw fell. "Day-am!"  
  
Paul whistled. "Yeah, baby!"  
  
Nina instantly death-glared Paul, stepped off the stage and kicked Paul where most men don't deserve to be kicked (notice that I said "most").  
  
All the guys instantly cringed, winced, or both.  
  
"Damn-Sam!" exclaimed Jin.  
  
"Dude, that was just brutal!" agreed Hwoarang.  
  
"Wouldn't affect me," said Bryan. A sign then smacked Bryan on his head that read "Yeah right!" on one side, and "Where's my damn M&M's?!" on the other.  
  
"And you people think I go too friggin' far..." muttered Kazuya as he cringed.  
  
"I guess that's that 'f,f+3' she mentioned earlier," concluded Lee.  
  
Jun shook her head. "Was that really necessary, Nina?"  
  
"Hey, I warned them what would happen if they even tried to pull something like that."  
  
"I thought you were just going to shoot them."  
  
Nina shrugged her shoulders. "I guess I forgot."  
  
Kazuya did his best to shake off that disturbing moment he just saw. "Lee, bring out the next one."  
  
Lee nodded. He took a deep breath, for he too was disturbed by Nina's actions.  
  
"Will contestant four please come to the stage!"  
  
Julia walked onto the stage, wearing a baby blue gown and a choker with a blue sapphire on it. It became obvious, however, that she had never worn high-heeled shoes before, because she came close to losing her balance twice.  
  
"Heel, toe, heel, toe!" shouted Jin. Everyone in the room, including the contestants on the stage (except for Julia), and Hwoarang stared at Jin.  
  
Jin crossed his arms. "Whaaaaaat?! I heard that's how it is done!"  
  
Kazuya turned around and shook his head. "Lee, memo: That boy ain't right."  
  
"HEY!" exclaimed Jin.  
  
Jun glared at Kazuya. Kazuya rolled his eyes. "Alright, change it: That boy isn't right."  
  
Jun shook her head, as did Jin.  
  
"Go ahead and bring out the next one, Lee."  
  
"Come on out, number five!"  
  
Doing just as she was told, Ling skipped onto the stage, wearing a white Chinese dress. "Hiiii!" she waved. "If you all, like, choose me as the winner of the pageant, I'll like, work to save the pandas, and the whales, and I promise to plant, like, many trees, and give everyone in the world a, like, puppy, and—"  
  
Kazuya grabbed his megaphone again. "This ISN'T that kind of pageant! You're supposed to just walk on stage, show off your damn dress, and then stand with the other contestants! No lame-as-hell promises!"  
  
Ling stomped her foot. "Fine, be that way, you meanie!"  
  
"Lee," Kazuya called through clenched teeth. "Memo: Kidnap Panda. Bring out next contestant."  
  
"Your turn, number six!"  
  
Anna came onto the stage, her breasts bouncing in a blue version of her dress.  
  
"Dude, this could get ugly!" shouted Hwoarang from above.  
  
"No kidding," Kazuya nodded in agreement. "And it's going to start in 5, 4, 3, 2,..." Still glancing at the watch, he pointed at the stage as if to cue something chaotic.  
  
"How long did you stay up dying that red dress of yours blue, Anna?" asked Nina.  
  
Anna laughed as she shook her hips. "Not as long as it took for you to find your dress at a department store."  
  
"OOOOOOOOOOH," said the crowd.  
  
"Okay, you die now, bitch!" Nina immediately slapped Anna, and another slap-fight ensued.  
  
"Two slap fights in one episode! This is great!" shouted Hwoarang.  
  
Lee raised a silver brow. "'episode'?"  
  
Kazuya shook his head. "He's really high this time, the damn junkie."  
  
"I thought I told you I'm not a junkie!!!"  
  
Nina and Anna continued to slap each other, until suddenly—  
  
The crowd was quiet. The contestants were quiet. Lee and Kazuya were quiet. Hwoarang's "imported cigarette" fell out of his mouth.  
  
"Oh, sweet mother of God," Jin finally said.  
  
Anna's face turned red.  
  
Jun jumped off the stage and covered Kazuya eyes with her hands Julia did the same to Jin.  
  
Nina shook her head. "I told her this would happen if she kept wearing dresses that are a tad big for her! How many of you saw this one coming?"  
  
Everyone raised their hand.  
  
"Anna, don't stand just stand there! Put that back in your dress! This is supposed to be a contest, not some free show!" exclaimed Kazuya.  
  
"....So sorry." Anna readjusted her dress.  
  
"Okay...I think it's safe to say that we are all speechless. Well, for a little while we were, anyway. Okay then, bring on the final contestant, Lee!"  
  
Lee nodded. "Alright, final contestant! Come on out!"  
  
The audience and contestants were in high anticipation for the final contestant. She stepped out from backstage, wearing a maroon strapless dress that had slits on the right side. A flowing black scarf wrapped around her neck and arms.  
  
"Holy shit," said Kazuya.  
  
Yoshimitsu's jaw hit the floor. "Yowza! Talk about a killer bod!"  
  
Another one of Hwoarang's "imported cigarettes" hit the ground. "Damn- Sam!"  
  
Kazuya shook his head. "One thing is wrong. Kuni, in order to be eligible to win the crown, you are going to have to remove your mask."  
  
Kunimitsu shrugged her shoulders, and placed her hands on her mask, ready to remove it. Everyone in the room gasped. Her forehead was exposed, everyone leaned in closer for a better look—  
  
And then the power went out.  
  
"WHAT THE HELL?!" shouted Kazuya. "Someone turn the damn power back on!"  
  
No-one could tell what was going on, because it was so dark. Suddenly, there was a gunshot, then a scream, and when the power was finally restored, Lei was lying on the ground.  
  
"Oh my God! Someone shot Lei!" exclaimed Michelle.  
  
"Oh boo-hoo," muttered Kazuya.  
  
Lei opened his eyes. "No, I'm okay, I'm okay! It's just that I tripped over something, and my gun must have gone off when I fell.  
  
"Then who screamed?" asked Kazuya.  
  
"Someone pushed me down!" cried Ling.  
  
Kazuya shrugged his shoulders. "Oh, okay, never mind then."  
  
"We all seem to be okay," said Jun.  
  
"Yeah, well, not everyone will be okay for long," replied Kazuya as he looked up. "Hwoarang! What the hell happened up there?!"  
  
"Dude, I don't know! I went to find the fuse box using my lighter, and dude, I found this wicked kunai there." Hwoarang tossed it to Kazuya. Kazuya stared at Hwoarang for a moment, amazed that the Korean wasn't electrocuted.  
  
"So, it looks like she had a plan of her own," Kazuya muttered to himself.  
  
"She sure did," replied Lee.  
  
Kazuya jumped for a second. "What the hell?! How did you hear that?!"  
  
Lee shrugged his shoulders. "Your voice carries. Anyway, the crown is gone."  
  
Kazuya scratched his head. "What? She wanted that fake-ass crown? Damn...I guess I really do have mad skills. "  
  
"Yeah, when it comes to failure!" jeered Paul. Kazuya smiled, and threw the kunai at Paul, landing in his head.  
  
"Ahem!"  
  
Kazuya turned around. Nina, who had already changed out of her dress and back into her leather pants/leopard pattern vest/black bikini top outfit, stood there with her hands on her hips and tapping her foot.  
  
"Don't look at me like that, Nina."  
  
"You promised me something, remember?"  
  
Kazuya slapped his forehead. "Of course...listen, if you come to tomorrow's meeting, I will give it to you. I left it at home."  
  
Nina nodded. "Fine. But it better be here...otherwise, it's f,f+3 for you!"  
  
Kazuya shuddered at the very thought.  
  
THE NEXT DAY  
  
"Okay, so the plan was a failure for the most part...but we all had a good time...well, some better than others, but that doesn't matter! Who knew that Kuni really wanted a crown tiara thingy simply so she can steal it?"  
  
Yoshimitsu raised his hand.  
  
"Put that hand down, smart-ass. Anyway, I got a letter from Kuni this morning."  
  
"Read it!" demanded King.  
  
"All in favour of my reading this letter out loud, say 'aye'!" shouted Kazuya.  
  
"AYE!"  
  
Kazuya smirked. "I concur."  
  
He cleared his throat, then began to read aloud:  
  
"Dear Tekken Committee,  
  
As you may already know, I was made aware of your contest when Jun Kazama approached me with the idea. I decided to take advantage of this by requesting that there be a crown for the winner. Of course, you supplied that for me—after all, the head of the Committee is rich.  
  
I checked the room during the Anna fiasco, and learned about the fuse box and the location of the crown. When I came onto the stage, as I pulled my mask off, I pulled some ninja magic that nearly all of you wouldn't understand, and temporarily turned the power off(in case you're wondering, I moved so fast, you all didn't even know I moved at all!).  
  
I made my move, and snagged that precious crown. I laughed all the way home, thinking how easy it was to fool you all (did you really think I was going to show you my face?). However, as it turned out, it was I who was the fool. After careful inspecting, I came to learn that the so- called crown was nothing more than a bunch of rhinestones and gold sequins glued onto a Burger King crown! So I have but three words for you: Fu—"  
  
"—and that's the end of the letter," Kazuya said quickly as he crumbled it up and tossed it in the garbage can.  
  
"Wait, what was she gonna say?' asked Julia.  
  
Kazuya shook his head. "Does it matter?"  
  
"Hell yeah dude...you got me all curious now," replied Hwoarang.  
  
"Man, I say we go take it out of the garbage can and see for ourselves!" suggested Paul. However, Kazuya pulled out a flame thrower, and torched the letter and the garbage can.  
  
"Lee, memo: get new garbage can." He then grabbed the remains of the garbage can, and threw it at Paul.  
  
"Well, that's all for today. Dismissed!"  
  
Everyone left the room, except for Nina.  
  
"A-HEM!"  
  
"Yes, Nina? Wait, don't tell me, I already know. Lee! Bring out the box!" ordered Kazuya as he snapped his fingers. Lee struggled as he tried to carry a big, lengthy box to Nina. He collapsed, and the box fell on him.  
  
"I'm okay," he winced.  
  
Nina opened the box, and smiled.  
  
"I'm guessing it's to your liking?" inquired Kazuya.  
  
Nina grinned. "Hell yeah! I LOVE IT!" Nina pulled out her gift: a very large gatling gun. She lifted it with ease.  
  
"Then we're back on good terms, right?"  
  
Nina nodded. "For now. We'll talk about this over tea." She winked, and left.  
  
"Well, I guess this is where the story ends," said Kazuya.  
  
Lee shook his head. "Damn, again! What do you mean 'story?!' Who do you keep talking to?!"  
  
Kazuya shook his head. "Don't worry about it. Come on, I'll buy you a cookie."  
  
"Whoo-hoo!" Lee threw on his Ray-Bans.  
  
NARRATOR: So the plan almost worked. But hey, there's next time, right?  
  
"No, there isn't," replied Kazuya.  
  
NARRATOR: Why not?!  
  
"Because it would be redundant."  
  
NARRATOR: Well fine then. *leaves*  
  
Kazuya shrugged his shoulders. "Well, so ends another episode of 'Tekken Committee'. I must say that I'm an even bigger psycho in this episode than in the last, and I fear it will only get worse! But I'm too busy laughing so hard to really make an issue of it. Once again, characters get abused in this story—Paul took a kunai in the head and survived!  
  
"By the way, how many of you honestly thought Kunimitsu was going to unmask herself anyway? Yes...uh-huh...yes, I see your hand raised...well, you're all gullible, you know that?  
  
Anyway, that's enough from me. Oh, and in case you're wondering about that Anna thing, it was her left breast that fell out of her dress. Until Next Time..."  
  
"Wait! One more thing, before I run out of time! The three words Kunimitsu had for us were Fu—"  
  
NEXT EPISODE: The Eighteenth Member! See who is the final member of the committee! Also, see what happens when Kazuya tries to say a certain four- letter word! All this and the origin of "Bob" in the next TEKKEN COMMITTEE!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
[pic][pic][pic] 


	3. The Final Member!

TEKKEN COMMITTEE: THE FINAL MEMBER  
  
by the enigma that is Saiyan Rage a.k.a. Lord Kazuya  
  
  
  
It was all started by a final decision:  
  
"It's time to find the final member."  
  
Lee stared at Kazuya. "It's about damn time."  
  
Kazuya stared back. "Hey, you think finding the final member is easy?!"  
  
Lee shrugged his shoulders. "I wouldn't know."  
  
Kazuya shook his head. "Stupid-ass mother @#$^er."  
  
Lee immediately looked at his brother in surprise. "What did you just say?!"  
  
Kazuya rolled his eyes. "I said 'stupid-ass mother @#$^er'-wait a minute!"  
  
"What the hell is THAT?!" exclaimed Lee.  
  
Kazuya shook his head nervously. "I-I don't know. Maybe it's a typo. Yeah, that's it. Go call the committee."  
  
"Kazuya, what do you mean 'typo'?"  
  
Kazuya glared at Lee with blood-red eyes. Lee immediately set out to make the phone calls.  
  
NARRATOR: The committee was called at once so that they may discuss the possible eighteenth member of the Committee.  
  
Kazuya nodded. "You're getting better at not yelling."  
  
NARRATOR: You really think so?  
  
Kazuya nodded again. "Yes." He faced the committee. "Alright, today's objective is to add the last member to the Committee."  
  
"Wait a minute, you mean there was originally going to be eighteen?" asked Lei.  
  
Kazuya nodded. "Unfortunately, I-"  
  
"-was too imcompetent to find that member," interjected Paul.  
  
Kazuya laughed. "Paul, do us all a favor: SHUT THE @#$% UP!!"  
  
The Committee was silent.  
  
Kazuya clasped a hand over his mouth.  
  
Hwoarang was the first to break the silence. "Dude...is it just me....or did he just say a bunch of symbols?"  
  
"Allow me to try it again," said Kazuya. "Paul, shut the @#$%--DAMMIT!"  
  
Paul laughed. "You can't even say @#$&--"He suddenly realized it happened to him as well. He was then struck in the head by a telescope.  
  
"Can somebody tell me what the @#$%--dammit again-HELL is going on?" demanded Kazuya.  
  
Bryan raised his hand.  
  
Kazuya rolled his eyes. "You have any idea what's up, Bryan-where-the- hell-are-my-M&Ms-Fury?"  
  
"I think the language board finds that your use of the word @#$% is very offensive," Bryan explained.  
  
Kazuya shrugged his shoulders. "Half of the things I say is offensive. Why @#$%? And who the @#$% is this language board?!"  
  
King raised his hand.  
  
"Explain, King."  
  
"They're this board of people who determine what can and cannot be said in fan fictions."  
  
Kazuya raised an eyebrow while drumming his fingers on the desk. "In case you haven't noticed, King, this is REAL LIFE, not some stupid story!"  
  
Kazuya threw a chalkboard that explained the differences between real life and a fan fiction on it at King's head.  
  
Kazuya folded his arms. "Lei!"  
  
Lei suddenly woke up. "Huh?"  
  
"I need you to go down to this board, if it exists, and tell them that I have the right to say '@#$*' !"  
  
"It's just a word, Kazuya! Let it-" He barely managed to dodge the CD player that was thrown at him.  
  
"DO IT," ordered Kazuya. Lei ran out as fast as he could so he wouldn't be hit by anything else.  
  
"Now then, where were we?"  
  
Lee checked his memo pad. "We were discussing the final member."  
  
"That's right." Kazuya cleared his throat. "Okay, does anybody have a good idea who it should be?"  
  
Hwoarang raised his hand.  
  
"Yes, junkie boy?"  
  
"Man, damn! I have a name, you know!"  
  
"Alright. So, who do you suggest, Hwoa...Hwoa-rayng...wait, no..."  
  
"Hwoa-wrong," pronounced Hwoarang.  
  
Kazuya stared at Hwoarang. "So who do you have in mind, Bob?"  
  
Hwoarang almost jumped out of his chair. "Wha-what the @#$&, man?! That's not even CLOSE to my name!"  
  
Kazuya shrugged his shoulders. "It's so much easier to pronounce that way."  
  
Hwoarang flailed his arms in the air. "But that's NOT my name!"  
  
"Fine, fine, we'll take a vote. Who here finds 'Bob' to be easier to pronounce than 'Hwoar-that other name?"  
  
The vote was unanimous.  
  
"@#$%," said Hwoarang.  
  
"No need for a bunch of symbols, now," scolded Kazuya. "Anyway, we need to find the final member. Any suggestions?"  
  
Ling (who, much to Kazuya's surprise, wasn't wearing any yellow ribbons)flailed her arm violently.  
  
Kazuya rolled his eyes. "What's your suggestion?"  
  
Ling jumped up and down for joy. "Can we, like, have Panda in our little committee? She's real smart for a panda-"  
  
"Ling, I am only going to tell you this once, and ONLY once. NO BEARS. Do not forget it. Lee, memo: If Ling forgets, smack her with Panda statue."  
  
Ling pouted as Lee wrote the memo down.  
  
Paul interjected: "Hey dumb-ass, technically pandas aren't really bears-"  
  
Kazuya shut him up with the aforementioned Panda statue.  
  
Kazuya sighed. "Any other suggestions as to who the final member should be, keeping in mind that Kunimitsu is excluded?"  
  
"Why is she excluded?" asked Law.  
  
Kazuya rolled his eyes. "Don't you remember? Fake beauty pageant in an attempt to unmask Kunimitsu? Would have worked, but she stole the fake tiara thingy I made, and sent us that nasty letter when she found out that is was a fake."  
  
"Oh yeah," Law replied.  
  
Kazuya was ready to throw a toaster oven at Law, but changed his mind.  
  
King raised his hand.  
  
"Please tell me you have something relevant to say, King," pleaded Kazuya.  
  
"Hell yeah. I say we invite Armor King!"  
  
Kazuya shook his head. "And be interrupted with the sounds of your drunken stupor? Hell no."  
  
Yoshimitsu raised his hand.  
  
"We should let the Jacks in! Robots are always cool to have, after all."  
  
Kazuya laughed. "As if. One tried to kill me, Two and Gun Jack are always hanging around that girl, and Prototype Jack, he's a cheaply built piece of crap-pull one screw from him and watch his robotic ass fall to pieces. Next!"  
  
Hwoarang suggested Baek Doo San before tripping out again.  
  
"Give me a break. I bet he supplies you with the weed, too. It's bad enough you get stoned in front of Lei; Baek will only bring more trouble to the committee!"  
  
"Dude," said Hwoarang.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I can't hear what you're saying, but I can see all the words coming out of your mouth!"  
  
Kazuya was almost tempted to throw a pedestal at the stoned kid, but again remembered the task at hand.  
  
"How about Bruce?" recommended Bryan.  
  
Kazuya frowned. "You give me my damn M&M's, and I just might consider him."  
  
Bryan leaned back in his chair, muttering "They were just one small pack of M&M's that I took, damn..." An M&M's tin filled with coins collided with Bryan's head soon after.  
  
"How about my dad?' suggested Forest Law.  
  
Kazuya scoffed. "Right...when I say Law, I'll have to be specific. Screw that. Oh, and Paul, why don't you come up with something useful for once?"  
  
Paul sneered. "As a matter of fact, I think maybe Eddy Gordo would be a good addition to the committee."  
  
Kazuya drummed his fingers on the desk for a minute. "Hell no. That guy's got it in for me since I had his dad killed."  
  
"Damn...why'd you go and do that?" asked Bryan.  
  
Kazuya glared at Bryan. "I had him killed because he stole my Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, and never compensated me for them."  
  
"You lie," replied Bryan. He was then smacked in the head by a box that had "Evidence That Proves That Eddy Gordo's Dad Ate My Damn Reese's" written on it.  
  
"Why not Alex and Roger?" submitted Michelle.  
  
Kazuya laughed hysterically for ten minutes. When he finally calmed down (and told the committee to stop staring at him) , he answered: "A dinosaur and a kangaroo that wears boxing gloves, right? I want to hear about Bob's hallucinations, not live one."  
  
"That's not my name!" cried Hwoarang.  
  
Kazuya ignored the junkie. "Any other suggestions?" asked Kazuya. Everyone was afraid to raise their hands for fifteen minutes. Kazuya tapped his foot. "I can't wait forever, you know."  
  
Just then, a disguised man burst through the door.  
  
"I really need to get a good lock for that," muttered Kazuya. He threw a locker at Paul just to make himself feel a little better.  
  
"I heard you all needed a final member for your committee!" exclaimed the disguised man.  
  
Kazuya raised an eyebrow. "Okay, who the hell are you?"  
  
The disguised man seemed to poorly disguise his panic attack.  
  
"Why, I'm, uh, Mr. MiSHIN-RA, yes, Heihach-I mean, HeihaSHI. I am Heihashi Mishinra.  
  
All of the committee raised one of their eyebrows.  
  
"So, you're interested in the eighteenth member position, huh? You'll have to be tested, you know."  
  
Heihashi Mishinra stood tall and proud. "Bring it on!"  
  
Kazuya glared at Heihashi for a second, then handed him a Kazuya doll.  
  
"This is your first test. I will give you twenty-four hours to take care of this doll. It's programmed to be sarcastic, randomly shout obscenities, look good in purple suits, and blush whenever Jun Kazama is around."  
  
The doll blushed. Jun Kazama blushed out of flattery. Jin rolled his eyes.  
  
"HOWEVER," added Kazuya, "The doll is also programmed to tell me when it's been abused, so you better treat it nicely. Oh, and if you tamper with it, it will explode."  
  
The doll said "So you better take good care of me, slack-ass!"  
  
Heihashi gnashed his teeth in anger. Kazuya snickered.  
  
"I'll see you in twenty-four hours. Hell, I'll see all of you in twenty- four hours. We need a break."  
  
"Uh, Lei isn't here," reminded Anna.  
  
Kazuya shrugged his shoulders. "I'll leave a message on his voice mail. He'll have confronted this 'board' (if it exists) by then. Dismissed!"  
  
TWENTY-FOUR HOURS LATER  
  
The committee(including Lei, who looked like something of a mess) and Heihashi were in the meeting room.  
  
"Alright Heihashi, let's see the doll."  
  
Heihashi reluctantly handed the doll back to Kazuya.  
  
"Did I...miss something?" Lei whispered to Julia.  
  
"Yeah...see, we tried to suggest who the final member would be, but each one was turned down. Then this disguised man named Heihashi Mishinra came into the room, and said he was interested in the position, so Kazuya decided to test Mishinra by first giving him a cute little Kazuya doll that was programmed to act like Kazuya, minus the object throwing-"  
  
Julia was hit in the head by a matchbook.  
  
"Ha! Proved you wrong there!" exclaimed the doll.  
  
Julia snarled at the doll, but quickly regained her composure. "Anyway, the doll is also programmed to let Kazuya know if it's been abused. Oh, and should the doll be tampered with, it will explode."  
  
Lei whistled in amazement. "Damn, Kazuya really thinks these things through, huh? I'd like to get a doll like that."  
  
Bryan glanced at Lei, then moved his chair a few inches away from Lei.  
  
Kazuya just got through inspecting the doll. "Well I'll be damned. You actually took good care of the doll." Kazuya put it in a doll-sized swivel chair and office desk, and pat it on the head.  
  
"Anyone who wants to poke fun will be shot," warned the doll.  
  
Nina looked at Kazuya. Kazuya nodded at Nina, and she grinned as she pulled out an AK-47.  
  
"Well then, it's time for the second test."  
  
"Let's get this over with," replied Heihashi.  
  
Kazuya smirked. "Your next test to complement me for the next...oh, half hour. If you refuse, or try anything funny, you will be shot."  
  
Heihashi's jaw dropped, but he quickly put it back in place. "Great. When do I start?"  
  
"Now."  
  
Heihashi shuddered. "Alright...Kazuya is the godliest fighter that ever lived."  
  
Kazuya laughed.  
  
"Glad I don't have to take that test," muttered Paul.  
  
"Paul, you're gonna take the damn test if you don't shut the fuck up- HEY!!!!"  
  
The room went silent in shock and awe.  
  
"Did you hear that? I said it! I said @^$#-aw shit, now it's just a bunch of symbols again. LEI!"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"What happened at the board yesterday?"  
  
"What? Oh, that. Get comfortable, because it's kind of a long story."  
  
Heihashi let out a sigh of relief.  
  
"That doesn't apply to you! Keep complimenting me!" ordered Kazuya.  
  
"Grr...Kazuya is the best looking fighter that ever lived."  
  
Kazuya laughed some more.  
  
"So I went to see this 'board'-if it existed. I went to the address that it was supposedly listed under, and when I went there, I saw an empty building. I went inside, and I suddenly fell through a hole that I didn't notice. When I landed, I was suddenly at the mercy of this 'board'. I decided to state our case.  
  
"I told them that we had the right to say @#$%. They said we didn't, because we didn't have a license to use that word. So I begged and pleaded them to let us use it, and they granted us the chance to use it once and only once-well, you used it anyway."  
  
"Why the hell didn't you tell me before?" asked Kazuya.  
  
"You didn't ask!" exclaimed Lei.  
  
"Booyaka!" shouted Paul.  
  
Heihashi tried to hold back a laugh, so to throw Kazuya off, he quickly said, "Kazuya doesn't take crap from nobody, which is why he is so great."  
  
Kazuya broke his pencil in his hand. "Nina, shoot Paul for me, please."  
  
Paul was shot while Lei was clobbered with an electric typewriter.  
  
"Kazuya is the strongest man in the world."  
  
"So now what are we going to do, Lei?"  
  
Lei had an ice-pack on his head. "I already applied for a license."  
  
"When will we get it?" asked Kazuya.  
  
"Oh, about six to eight weeks."  
  
Kazuya's shoulders fell.  
  
"Damn. I hate waiting."  
  
"Kazuya Mishima is the man."  
  
"You know what, Mr...Mishinra? You pass the second test. Now, for the third and final test."  
  
Heihashi Mishinra was very relieved that he could cease the forced complements. "What is the final test?"  
  
Kazuya grinned. "Role-playing. You will pretend that you are my worthless father, and you will tell me, as him, how sorry you are that you threw me off that cliff, threw me into that volcano, spread the rumor that I raped Jun, shot my son in the head, sold my precious sneaker collection on e- bay, and wrinkled my purple suit. NOBODY messes with the purple suit."  
  
Lee nudged Kazuya and gave him the puppy-dog eyes.  
  
Kazuya rolled his eyes and sighed. "Oh yes, and apologize for abusing poor Lee. It must be sincere, and very convincing."  
  
Heihashi wanted to shout at Kazuya, but he held his tongue. "Very well," he finally said.  
  
"I have some respect for my father now," Jin said.  
  
Heihashi cleared his throat. "Jin...I am very sorry that I shot you in your head. I hope that you may find it in your heart to forgive me. I did not know what I was thinking."  
  
Jin scoffed. "Whatever."  
  
Heihashi wanted to pound the youth badly, but controlled himself. "Lee, I apologize for making fun of your hair, and spreading that rumor that you were gay. Please forgive me."  
  
Tears welled up in Lee's eyes. "I spent over a million dollars on therapy!" he shouted, and then sat in a corner.  
  
"Kazuya, my....son."  
  
Kazuya grinned, and decided to play along to make it more interesting. "Yes Heihachi, my oh-so-worthless father?"  
  
Heihashi's face (what little showed through the disguise anyway) turned red.  
  
"Kazuya, I apologize for thoughtlessly pitching you off of that cliff when you were five. I am also very sorry that I threw you into that volcano. I apologize spreading the rumors that you raped Jun as well, and Jun, I apologize for any harm I caused you. I am also very sorry that I sold off your sneaker collection. I should have asked. I was very thoughtless to do so."  
  
Kazuya waved his hand. "Keep going."  
  
Heihashi slumped. "I'm also sorry that I put that one wrinkle in your purple suit. I apologize for climbing back up that cliff when I was supposed to be dead. I am also sorry that I tried to make you change your hair. I apologize...."  
  
AN HOUR LATER  
  
"...for giving away your cat, 'Kat-zuya.' I am very sorry for stealing your hair spray. I-"  
  
"That's enough, that's enough," said Kazuya. "Now then, I want you, as Heihachi, to-hold on a second."  
  
Kazuya pulled out a megaphone. "WAKE UP."  
  
The committee woke up very abruptly, except for Hwoarang, who had been tripping the whole time.  
  
"Anyway, I want you, as Heihachi, to tell me how worthless you really are."  
  
"I hope this doesn't take as long as the apologies," muttered Jin.  
  
Heihashi twitched. "FINE," he agreed through his teeth. He drank a glass of water. "I, Heihachi Mishima, am the biggest idiot in the world. I am nothing more than a child abuser in severe need of anger management classes, and I have a severe inferiority complex."  
  
"Beautiful," Kazuya declared. "Keep it coming."  
  
Heihashi gnashed his teeth once more. "I am also a very stupid person, for if I had never knocked up Kazumi, I wouldn't have a disappointment for a son, and a pansy for a grandson; if I never went to China, I wouldn't have found this flaming homosexual with the silver hair!!!"  
  
"OH MY GOD, the pain, the pain!" cried Lee.  
  
"A pansy?! Why, you..." Jin put on his fighting gloves.  
  
A look of indescribable rage came to Kazuya's face. "So, I was right. You ARE my stupid-ass father!"  
  
Heihachi removed his disguise to reveal himself. "That's right, Kazuya! I wouldn't have wanted to join your stupid committee anyway!"  
  
"Excuse me?! We're just too cool for you, that's all, Heihachi," replied Kazuya.  
  
Heihachi scoffed. "You think you're all 'cool'? Jun is a wuss, Nina is the worst assassin ever, Lei is a hopeless romantic, King is just a drunk, Hwoarang is always high, Paul is just a smack-talker, Bryan...Bryan is just a freak, Yoshimitsu is a Robin-Hood poser, Ling is an air-head, Michelle IS an axe-murderer, Anna thinks she can get attention by showing off her horrible body, Ganryu is just a stupid fat- ass who needs a life, Law...why the hell are you even here, Law?! Julia is just hot-headed, Jin is a pansy, Lee is gay, and Kazuya, YOU are just weak, and should have stayed dead!"  
  
The committee was silent.  
  
Michelle twitched.  
  
Nina tried her best not to shoot Heihachi.  
  
King brought out a wrestling ring.  
  
Yoshimitsu held his sword, ready to strike.  
  
Paul and Law cracked their knuckles.  
  
Julia prayed for Kazuya to let them beat up Heihachi.  
  
Bryan practiced punching Heihachi.  
  
Ling wondered why everyone was so upset.  
  
Lei was trying to decide what stance to beat Heihachi up with.  
  
Ganryu held back his tears; not because Heihachi made fun of him, but because Heihachi insulted Michelle.  
  
Anna adjusted her dress so that nothing would go wrong when the opportunity to beat up Heihachi came.  
  
Lee smoked.  
  
Jun waited.  
  
Jin watched his dad, waiting to see what the next move would be.  
  
Hwoarang put his goggles on his forehead, and glared at the eldest Mishima.  
  
Kazuya stood on the desk. "Committee...our next order of business is..." he looked at Heihachi as he was saying this, "..to WAIL ON HEIHACHI'S ASS!!!!"  
  
With that, Kazuya jumped down from the desk, and knocked Heihachi down. After he punched Heihachi in the face, the rest of the committee joined in.  
  
THRITY-THREE MINUTES LATER, ON A REALLY BIG HELICOPTER  
  
"Man, this is the greatest meeting ever!" exclaimed Hwoarang as he lit up a blunt.  
  
"I have a whole new respect for my father," Jin declared proudly.  
  
"That was just beautiful when you put your cigarette out on his bald head, Lee," complimented King. "Very insulting."  
  
Lee grinned. "I liked the part where you brought him into the ring and wailed on him for five minutes. That rolling move you did surely damaged his back, man."  
  
Paul(who was okay for someone who was shot two hours ago) grinned. "That was just classic when you held the old man down while I beat him up, and then we just wailed on him together."  
  
Kazuya nodded. "For once, we actually agreed on something."  
  
"Don't think you and your little committee can get away with this!" exclaimed Heihachi, who was bound to a chair.  
  
"Yeah, well, what are you going to do about it?" dared Kazuya.  
  
"I'm going to start my OWN committee! We're going to upstage your committee for sure!"  
  
"I bet." Kazuya rolled his eyes.  
  
"I'll call them the 'Rival Tekken Committee' or something like thaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" Kazuya decided to kick the bound Heihachi out of the chopper.  
  
"Don't come back now, okay?" called Kazuya.  
  
Nina fire a few rounds after Heihachi. She looked at Kazuya, and shrugged her shoulders. "In case the fall doesn't kill him."  
  
"So, what's left now?" asked Law.  
  
Kazuya thought for a moment. "We still need to find our final member. Let's head back to the committee room."  
  
Kazuya and the rest of the committee looked to catch Hwoarang attempting to walk off the chopper, until Michelle grabbed him.  
  
"Dude! Those clouds over there invited me for tea!"  
  
Kazuya wanted to shove Hwoarang out of the chopper.  
  
"The tea they're serving isn't good for you," explained Michelle.  
  
"Dude, really? That sucks. Thanks for saving me the trouble!" He gave Michelle the thumbs-up.  
  
Michelle smiled sarcastically. "Sure thing, whatever..."  
  
Ganryu was walking towards the sky.  
  
"I'm not saving you, Ganryu," remarked Michelle.  
  
"But Michelle-AIIIEEEE!" Ganryu quickly grabbed the edge of the floor in the chopper, which kept him from falling to the ground thousands of miles below him.  
  
"Let's just get back to the committee before someone ELSE does something stupid," suggested Kazuya. "Lee, memo: Never take committee on the chopper ever again. EVER!"  
  
Lee agreed.  
  
BACK AT THE COMMITTEE  
  
"So, all that is left is the final member," reminded Kazuya.  
  
"Well, we're all out of ideas," complained King.  
  
"But there HAS to be someone that can serve a purpose for the committee," Kazuya pondered aloud. At the moment, a black and white cat walked into the room.  
  
"Hey, there's a cat in here," said Nina.  
  
"I'll get rid of it," said Paul. He approached the cat, and reached out to pick it up, but the cat hissed and bit him.  
  
"AAAAAAAOWWWW!!!!" shouted Paul as he sucked on his bleeding finger. "What the hell?"  
  
"I don't think it wants to leave," said King. The cat looked at King, and it began to nudge King's leg. King picked it up.  
  
"Hey, it, like, thinks you're a cat," remarked Ling.  
  
"It's so cute," King said. Suddenly, the cat hissed, and swiped a paw at King's face, scratching the mask.  
  
"Hey, what did it do THAT for?!" he exclaimed.  
  
The cat walked up to Jun, and purred. Jun scratched the little cat under the chin.  
  
"It's so adorable," said Jun. Paul and King groaned. Both were immediately struck by two bags of kitty litter.  
  
"Here, kitty, kitty, kitty," Kazuya called, holding a toy mouse by the tail. The cat walked up to the mouse, sniffed it, and in one swipe, tore the mouse to pieces.  
  
"Hey, that mouse cost me three bucks!" Kazuya shouted at the cat. The cat cocked its head at Kazuya, then its ears pulled back.  
  
"Okay, why is it doing that?" asked Kazuya. "It's not mad at me, is it?" Kazuya observed the cat for a minute. "No, it's purring. But it's ears...why is it doing that?"  
  
Jun giggled. "I think it's imitating your hairstyle."  
  
Kazuya's jaw dropped, and he was ready to yell at the cat, but he found it impossible to do so.  
  
"It's so CUTE!" he exclaimed.  
  
"Oh my God...Kazuya's getting all mushy...that's classic, hahaha," teased Paul. The cat ran up to Paul, and clawed his face.  
  
"YEEEAAAAAAA!!!" screamed Paul as he clutched his face. "That's a demon- cat right there!!!"  
  
Kazuya looked at the cat. "I wonder why it wandered in here?"  
  
"I can find out," answered Jun. She beckoned the cat to come to her. The cat walked up to Jun, then sat in front of her.  
  
"Meow," said Jun. "Meow, mrow, meow, meow."  
  
"Meow...mrow, meow," replied the cat.  
  
"Oh my God, my mom really IS weird," said Jin.  
  
"I'm not...hallucinating...am I?" asked Hwoarang. He looked at Nina. She shook her head.  
  
"She's like Doctor Dolittle!" exclaimed Paul. The cat hissed at Paul. Paul flinched.  
  
"I can speak cat too!" exclaimed King. He cleared his throat. "ROWR! MEOW, MEOW. MROW."  
  
The cat turned to face King, then it held up its paw.  
  
Hwoarang lit up another blunt. "Dude, I think it's giving you the finger."  
  
King sat back in his chair in disgust.  
  
"Lee, take a memo: weirdest meeting ever."  
  
"Agreed," replied Lee as he took the memo.  
  
Jun looked at Kazuya. "The cat says that she came here because she was interested in the position of being the eighteenth member."  
  
"Is that so?" Kazuya asked aloud. "Here, kitty, kitty." The cat walked up to Kazuya.  
  
"Alright, so you want in on the committee, huh?"  
  
The cat purred.  
  
"Alright, you're in. Your purpose is to serve as our cute, cuddly, and fuzzy mascot. Okay?"  
  
The cat purred louder, then pulled its ears back.  
  
"Aw, come here, kitty!" Kazuya held the cat. "I'm going to name you 'Kat- zumi', okay?"  
  
The cat purred.  
  
"Hey! Why are we letting a CAT join the committee?" demanded Paul.  
  
Kazuya and Kat-zumi looked at Paul. "Because she is such a darling, and a smart one at that. She hates you, so that's another reason for her to stay right there."  
  
The cat let out a happy meow.  
  
"So...I guess that's it, right?" asked King.  
  
Kazuya shrugged his shoulders. "I guess so. Committee, let's welcome the eighteenth and final member of the committee: Kat-zumi!"  
  
The committee cheered enthusiastically; not completely because they were happy to have a new member or a fuzzy, cuddly mascot, but because they were afraid Kazuya would put the hurt on them if they didn't cheer for the cat.  
  
"Alright, now let's have a party to celebrate."  
  
"Hell yeah! Everybody come to my place in thirty minutes!" exclaimed King.  
  
"Good idea," agreed Kazuya. "Dismissed!"  
  
The committee left the room. Lee and Kazuya remained. Kazuya was still admiring the cat.  
  
"She is a cutie, isn't she?" commented Lee.  
  
Kazuya nodded. "Yup. Reminds me of my old cat. I'll get my father for that soon enough. Hmm."  
  
"What is it?" asked Lee.  
  
Kazuya pulled a Heihachi doll from a drawer in his desk, and handed it to the cat, The cat pounced on it, and it even bit and clawed at the Heihachi doll.  
  
"It hurts, it hurts!" exclaimed the doll.  
  
"I finally found a use for that Heihachi doll," said Kazuya.  
  
Lee grinned. "Yeah. That was fun when we wailed on him." He looked at his watch. "Hey, we need to get ready for the party. After all, what's a party without bad-ass pimps like us?"  
  
Kazuya removed his trench coat, revealing his purple suit. "That's right! You coming, Kat-zumi?"  
  
The cat purred, and followed Kazuya and Lee out of the committee room.  
  
Narrator: So the final member joined the committee: the fuzzy and cuddly mascot, Kat-zumi.  
  
"Hey, committees that are cool like ours NEED a mascot," said Kazuya.  
  
Narrator: *nods* Heihachi also received a much-deserved beat down as well.  
  
Kazuya nodded. "I gave him those tests on purpose because I knew he was my father, and I knew my father could only last so long."  
  
Narrator: Hey, I thought that was a brilliant move there.  
  
Kazuya smirked. "Yeah. Come on, I'll buy you an orange smoothie."  
  
Narrator: WHOO-HOO! *leaves*  
  
AND NOW, KAZUYA MISHIMA'S COMMENTS ON THE STORY  
  
"I have to say, this was the weirdest of the Tekken Committee stories. I mean, Jun is talking to a cat, for crying out loud! And the cat becomes a committee member! What the hell is that all about?! Oh, and then there was that language board thing...we really didn't go into it that much, did we? Oh, and my father's attempt to get into the committee was very sad. Also, the reason why Eddy Gordo's father was killed was rather ridiculous!  
  
"However, I liked the part where my father was beaten up and thrown out of a helicopter. Also, the way I come with that plan to make my father snap was absolutely brilliant. Also, I was more cunning than insane, which was a nice change (however, I fear that it will not last). Also, the origin of Hwoarang's nickname "Bob" was a very nice addition. Oh, and my finally being able to say "fuck" was rather funny.  
  
"Well, I guess that's the end of this story. But I assure you, there will be more, which means I will probably be depicted as the grand psycho of the group again. *shrugs shoulders* Whatever. I like it, so what do I care? Until Next Time..."  
  
NEXT EPISODE: The introduction of the Rival Tekken Committee! What will the original Tekken Committee do about this? Also, Jin gets a girl pregnant! Okay, not really. I just wanted to see the look on your face, hahaha. Damn, I wish I took a picture of it. Oh well. Stay tuned....  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
[pic][pic][pic] 


	4. The Rival Tekken Committee

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**TEKKEN COMMITTEE: THE RIVAL TEKKEN COMMITTEE**   
**By the Girl Tekken Gamer That Needs to Decide on ONE Name (otherwise known as Saiyan Rage/Lord Kazuya)**   
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**It was initiated by a question from Lee(surprisingly enough):******

**"Did you hear what your father did?"******

**Kazuya stared at his brother. "Hell no! I don't give a damn what my father does."******

**Lee shrugged his shoulders. "Well, it's just that he got so upset when we threw him out of that chopper last month that he started his own committee."******

**Kazuya stared at his brother again. "Say what?"******

**"He created his own committee, called the 'Rival Tekken Committee'".******

**Kazuya shook his head. "Big deal. Dad probably just made some cardboard cut-outs, put them all together, and called them his committee."******

**Lee lit up a cigarette. "Well, I heard there are real people in his committee, and he has every intention of upstaging you."******

**Kazuya raised an eyebrow. "Lee. Committee. Meeting. Now."******

**"Wow, you must be so angry that you can't talk in complete sentences," observed Lee. Kazuya turned around to glare at Lee.******

**"No…I just didn't feel like saying the whole damn thing. Now stop standing there and call the Committee!"**   
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**Narrator: So Kazuya held an emergency meeting in regards to the Rival Tekken Committee.******

**Kazuya shook his head and laughed. " 'Rival Tekken Committee'…even the name is awful! What the hell does my father think he can accomplish anyway?"******

**Lei raised his hand.******

**"What is it, Lei?"******

**"Just curious…who are you talking to?"******

**Kazuya jumped out of his chair. "Who the hell did you think I was talking to?!"******

**Lei answered without thinking, "Yourself."******

**Kazuya drummed his fingers on his desk, then put Lei in a choke-hold.******

**"I SUGGEST YOU THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK NEXT TIME!" he shouted as Lei struggled.******

**"Kazuya, let him go," said Jun. Kazuya looked at Jun with puppy-dog eyes. Jun shook her head. Kazuya released his hold on Lei, who was gasping for air.******

**"Alright, you're all here for a most obvious reason," stated Kazuya.******

**Nina raised her hand.******

**"Yes, Nina?"******

**"Actually, we don't know why we're here."******

**Kazuya's jaw fell an inch, then he turned around, facing Lee. "Lee…"******

**"Yes?"******

**"You DID tell the committee why they were going to be here, right?"******

**Lee shrugged his shoulders. "I simply thought that saying there was an emergency meeting would be enough."******

**Kazuya's eyes turned red. He picked up Lee.******

**"NEXT TIME, TELL THEM SO I WON'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN IT!!!" exclaimed Kazuya as he tossed Lee out of the window.******

**"Okay, that was unexpected," remarked Jin.******

**"Was that…necessary?" asked Julia.******

**"Don't worry, he'll be okay," assured Kazuya.******

**Paul was about to comment on the situation, but Kazuya interrupted him: "If you don't want more of the same Paul, I suggest you shut up!"******

**Paul decided it was best to keep quiet rather than get tossed out of a window.******

**Moments later, someone was heard going up a flight of stairs. The door flew open, and standing there was Lee.******

**"That hurt, you know."******

**Kazuya shrugged his shoulders. "I had to teach you a lesson somehow."******

**"Yeah, but that's not a way to do it!" cried Lee.******

**"You want a review?" asked Kazuya as he pointed at the window.******

**Lee shook his head and arms.******

**"Dude, so why are we here?' asked Hwoarang.******

**"You're all here because we have a rival committee."******

**The committee gasped in shock.******

**"What does this other committee call themselves?" asked King.******

**Kazuya snickered. "The 'Rival Tekken Committee'."******

**The Committee was silent.******

**Kazuya rolled his eyes. "This is where you're supposed to rag on the name."******

**"That's just our committee name with the word 'Rival' attached to it!" exclaimed Bryan.******

**"Isn't that like, not legal or something?" asked Ling.******

**Lei shook his head. "Actually, it is. If they had slightly changed the spelling, it might have been a different story."******

**Kat-zumi meowed. The Committee looked at Jun.******

**"What Kat-zumi is asking is who is in the rival committee," translated Jun. Kat-zumi meowed some more. "Kat-zumi also says that if they have a cute, cuddly, fuzzy mascot, that there's going to be a serious fight."******

**Paul scoffed. "Hey, we have cat-fights here all the time!" he exclaimed while he looked in Nina and Anna's direction.******

**"We don't get into that many fights anymore!" exclaimed Nina.******

**"Speak for yourself," muttered Anna.******

**Nina pulled Anna's chair from beneath her as she said, "Who the hell was talking to you?!"******

**Anna grabbed Nina by the ankle and pulled her down, thus initiating another fight.******

**Most of the Committee began to cheer wildly and place their bets.******

**"Damn, I thought those two made progress by not fighting in the last episode," Kazuya muttered to himself.******

**"Uh, 'last episode'?" asked Lee as he raised an eyebrow.******

**Kazuya pointed at the window.. Lee shut his mouth immediately. Kazuya stood on top of the Committee table.******

**"ALRIGHT! BACK TO BUSINESS!"******

**The cheering immediately turned to silence. The Committee members took back their bids, and Nina and Anna seated themselves very quietly.******

**"Paul, this was all your fault!" exclaimed Kazuya.******

**Paul sneered as he leaned back in his chair. "Yeah? So? You blame me for most of the things that go wrong he—"******

**Moments later, Paul was tied up and hung on the ceiling.******

**"Now then…our cute, cuddly, fuzzy mascot did raise an interesting question."******

**"What? That they may have a mascot too?" asked Jin.******

**Kazuya held up a crowbar, ready to beat Jin with it, but self-control finally, FINALLY kicked in. For now, anyway.******

**"No Jin, what I meant was that we were going to see who was in the Rival Tekken Committee."******

**Jin rolled his eyes. "Knowing grandfather, it's just a bunch of cardboard cut-outs, Kuma, and himself as a committee."******

**"That's what I'm hoping…but dad's got plans to upstage me, and nobody, NOBODY, attempts to upstage Kazuya Mishima and gets the hell away with it!" exclaimed Kazuya as he held a fist.******

**"You just want to know who you're going to play pranks on in the future, huh?" asked Michelle.******

**Kazuya nodded sheepishly. "Hey, he deserves it. Besides, Michelle, don't you want another shot at that bastard for calling you an ax-murderer?"******

**Michelle twitched and clutched an ax. "Yes…"******

**Kazuya turned to Nina. "And Nina, don't you want to shoot him again for insulting your assassin skills?"******

**Nina pulled out her gatling gun. "Like hell I do!"******

**Kazuya then approached Jin. "And son…you're not going to let him shoot you and get away with that, right?"******

**Jin shrugged his shoulders. "I dunno…he did teach me the Mishima Style—"******

**"RIGHT?!"******

**"Right, right.." Jin finally agreed. "Weirdo," he muttered.******

**Kazuya ignored him. "Then it's settled. We're going on a field trip, boys and girls!"******

**The Committee cheered enthusiastically.******

**"Lee, you got any extra room in your car?" asked Law.******

**Lee shook his head. "I wish I did though, pal. Why?"******

**"Paul drives like a maniac!" Law answered. A sudden hand on his shoulder freaked the younger Law out.******

**"Hey! I heard my name mentioned! Come on, pal! Let's get going before Kazuya decides to beat me up again," replied Paul (who somehow managed to get out of that bind he was in). With that, Paul grabbed Law, who was flailing his arms and crying, and dragged him outside.******

**"Can I ride with you?" Ganryu asked Michelle.******

**"Sorry, my car can only hold two people," Michelle replied.******

**Ganryu's jaw fell. "Naw-uh! I saw you bring Julia, Ling, and Jin with you when we came in!"******

**Michelle needed a way to get out of the situation, so she removed her headband, and threw it.******

**"Oops! Clumsy me!" she said.******

**"I'll get it for you, beautiful Michelle!" declared Ganryu as he ran to get the thrown headband. Michelle motioned Julia, Ling, and Jin to follow her. They ran out of the room with Michelle before Ganryu could deliver the headband to Michelle.******

**"Hey Yoshi, you need a ride?" asked Nina.******

**Yoshimitsu shook his head. 'Thanks for the offer anyway. I can always fly there."******

**"Won't that make you look really conspicuous?"******

**Yoshimitsu shrugged his shoulders. "I could always teleport there, but then I'd get bored since I would be the only one there."******

**Nina thought about that. "Good point."******

**"Hey Lei, could we stop by the convenience store on the way?" asked Bryan.******

**Lei looked at Bryan with a puzzled look on his face. "Why?"******

**Bryan whispered to Lei, "So I can get some M&M's."******

**Lei nodded. "Oh! Okay, no problem then. I guess you're really sick and tired of Kazuya's harassing you about them at every meeting, huh?"******

**"Hell yeah I'm tired of it! And I'm sick of replacing my windows because Kazuya keeps throwing bricks saying 'GIVE ME MY M&M's' on it!"******

**"You know when I'll stop doing that," replied Kazuya.******

**"See?!"******

**Lei patted Bryan on the shoulder. "I understand…now come on. We got a job to do!"******

**"Alright," muttered Bryan. "But I'm still annoyed by it all…"******

**"I know, I know…"**   
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**Narrator: So the Committee drove to the other side of town, where Heihachi's Rival Tekken Committee was located.******

**"Wow, two narratives in one story and it's not even the end," commented Kazuya.******

**Narrator: Yeah…I'm finally getting more work around here.******

**"Hey, that's always good."******

**"Who are you talking to?" asked Lee.******

**Kazuya responded by cramming a cigarette in Lee's mouth. "Shut up and smoke," answered Kazuya. Kazuya looked at the building. "This is where they supposedly are?"******

**Lee nodded. "On the top floor, right there."******

**Kazuya rested his chin on his hand and tapped his foot. He snapped his fingers when an idea came to him. "Nina!"******

**"Yeah?"******

**"You think you can get in and spy on the committee?"******

**"Can I?" In a split-second, Nina changed her outfit, and was dressed entirely in black.******

**"That would work, if it were night!" scoffed Paul.******

**"Paul, why—" started Kazuya, but Nina held up a hand.******

**"I got this one."******

**"He's all yours then," replied Kazuya as he moved out of Nina's way. Nina removed her leather gloves, and immediately dove onto Paul. She broke his arms and legs while the rest of the committee watched.******

**"Damn, why didn't I ever think of doing that?" Kazuya asked himself.******

**"Mreow," whined Kat-zumi.******

**"Good heavens, was that necessary?" asked Jun.******

**"Okay, my joints hurt," winced Lei.******

**"I could do that," bragged Bryan. "Watch!" Bryan proceeded to break his left arm, but instead broke it off on accident. "Aw, shit!"******

**"Dude!" exclaimed Hwoarang.******

**"You're a damn idiot," said Kazuya. He took Bryan's arm, and beat him with it. After the beating, Kazuya threw the arm at Bryan's head. "Put your damn arm back on! You're freaking Jun out."******

**Bryan sneered, and attempted to reattach his arm. "As long as he didn't mention his—"******

**"And I want my damn M&M's. You mentioned going to the convenience store, so I expect some candy-coated chocolate candy goodness!"******

**Bryan started to beat his arm up with frustration, until he realized he needed that arm.******

**"Alright Nina, here's a walkie-talkie. I want you to tell me who you see in the Rival Tekken Committee."******

**Nina saluted. "Okay. I'll be back soon enough." She ran inside the building. The Committee stared at the building for a few minutes.******

**Kazuya glanced at his watch a few times.******

**Lee smoked.******

**Hwoarang tripped.******

**Ganryu flirted with Michelle.******

**Bryan re-attached his arm.******

**Jun conversed with the cat.******

**Jin and Julia were making out.******

**Lei slept.******

**Anna checked her makeup.******

**Yoshimitsu was performing tricks on his sword.******

**Ling just stared off into space.******

**King drank beer.******

**Paul checked his motorcycle for scratches and dents, while Law was trembling on the ground.******

**Kazuya couldn't take the waiting anymore. "Anybody up for Jenga?"******

**"Jenga? I'm so in," said Lei.******

**"I love Jenga!" exclaimed Julia.******

**"Alright then, I'll go get it," replied Kazuya. He reached into his trench coat and pulled out some brass knuckles, a very large mallet, a business tycoon magazine, a PlayStation 2, a box of tissues, and finally, Jenga.******

**"Damn, how deep are those pockets?" asked King.******

**Kazuya shrugged his shoulders. "I'm not sure. Hey, I also have Monopoly in here, if you all want to play that too."******

**"Only if I get to be the car," said Lee.**   
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**Nina walked around the building trying not to look conspicuous (despite the fact that she was dressed in black, and was carrying night-vision goggles). She heard some voices in a room.******

**"That must be them!" she exclaimed. She sneaked up to the door and listened in on what was being said.******

**"—so they expect us to make a fourth part now."******

**"Really? Couldn't we do another 'vs.' Game first? Those always sell for us."******

**"I guess it depends what people want more. But let's remember that if we do plan on making a fourth part, that we should include more people from the second in there."******

**Nina appeared puzzled. "'fourth part'? They must mean Tekken 4. 'another vs. Game'…Tekken Tag Tournament 2, no doubt. And then that mention about bringing characters from Tekken 2 into Tekken 4…no way the Rival Committee would be talking about that…would they?"******

**Nina took another peek inside.**   
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**Beads of sweat decorated Kazuya's forehead as he carefully removed a block from the lower level of the Jenga set to the upper half without knocking it down. He let out a sigh of relief when the blocks didn't topple over.******

**Julia's turn came. She said a quick prayer, let out a deep breath, then took a block out of the lower half of the set, and placed it on the upper half without incident.******

**Lei knew he was in trouble. If he made one false move, the whole thing would fall down. The pressure was on him. Why did it always have to be on him? Lei knew he didn't have time to think, because Julia had the attention span of a teenager, and Kazuya's patience was thinner than paper.******

**Time was running out. Lei had to make a move, and now was the time. He slowly nudged a block from the lower half, and then carefully removed it. He placed the block on the upper half. He waited to see if anything would happen.******

**Nothing happened.******

**Lei let out a sigh of relief.******

**This made the blocks fall down.******

**"Great going, Lei," said Julia.******

**"Yeah, good one, Lame Wu-Long," added Kazuya.******

**"H-how did that happen?!" Lei cried in disbelief.******

**Before Kazuya could provide a scientific explanation, Nina's voice was heard from the walkie-talkie.******

**"Kazuya, are you there? I got some interesting news."******

**Kazuya picked up his walkie-talkie. "Inform me."******

**Nina rolled her eyes at that last thing Kazuya said. "I've been listening in on the Committee. Apparently, they're debating whether to do work on Tekken 4 or make another Tekken Tag Tournament game."******

**Kazuya raised an eyebrow. "Say what? I thought they would discuss how to upstage us."******

**Nina shrugged her shoulders. "That's what I thought, but I guess they're talking more about the future of Tekken."******

**Kazuya laughed. "My father talking about the future of Tekken? Yeah right. Did you get a good look at them?"******

**Nina squinted her eyes, trying to get a good look inside. "Not really. I'm going to put my night vision goggles on."******

**"Alright…" Kazuya whistled a tune while waiting. "You see anything yet?"******

**"I sure do. They all look flat, though, like cardboard cut-outs."******

**Kazuya slammed his fist into the concrete sidewalk. "I knew it! father made some cheap-ass cut-outs, and is doing their voices and making them move!"******

**"Actually, I don't think this is the Rival Committee."******

**Kazuya raised an eyebrow. "Say what?"******

**Nina took a better look. "The reason why they looked so two-dimensional is because they ARE. This is the Street Fighter Committee. I've managed to identify Chun-Li, Ryu, Ken, Cammy, Guile, Zangief, Gouki (or is it Akuma?), Nash (or Charlie), Ibuki, Sakura, Dhalsim, Fei Long, Sagat, E. Honda, and too many others to name."******

**"Damn, figures," cursed Kazuya. "Don't give up, Nina. Keep looking."******

**"Alright. Nina out."******

**"So what happened?" asked Lee.******

**"A misunderstanding, unfortunately. Turned out that the 2-dimensional-looking committee WAS a 2-dimensional-looking committee."******

**Lee took a drag of his cigarette. "Damn. I forgot that the Street Fighter Committee held meetings in that building."******

**Kazuya waved his hand. "Let's not worry about it. Nina will find the Rival Committee soon enough."******

**"Not bloody likely," said Anna. Suddenly, she was hit in the head by a hairbrush. "Ow…" she picked it up, and read the note attached to it.******

**"At least I'm making myself useful, ho!" it read. Anna clenched her teeth and crumpled up the note.******

**"Well, since we're going to do much more waiting, who's up for some Monopoly?" asked Kazuya.******

**"I get to be the car!" exclaimed Lee as he snatched the playing piece.******

**"Dude, I'm so in!" exclaimed Hwoarang. "I wanna be the iron thingy."******

**"Just don't trip out in the middle of gameplay," warned Kazuya. "I'm gonna be the boot, since it reminds me of my Doc Martens with the steel toes, mwahahaha…"******

**Kat-zumi pounced at the dog playing piece.******

**"Kat-zumi wants to play," said Jun. "However, since Kat-zumi doesn't have opposable thumbs, I will play for her. Kat-zumi will make the decisions, though."******

**Kazuya shrugged his shoulders. "Works for me."**   
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**Nina continued to walk around, looking for the Rival Committee.******

**"For a top floor, it's unusually big," she complained. Then, She suddenly heard some voices.******

**"Damn, don't tell me I've gone in circles," she whined to herself. She decided to make sure by putting on her night vision goggles, and took a peek inside the room. She gasped at what she saw.******

**"Aw shit! Why'd you have to go and put another damn hotel on Boardwalk?" demanded Lee.******

**"To get your damn money," answered Kazuya. "Oh, and I'm just waiting for one of you fools to land on it, hwahahaha—"******

**Nina's voice was heard through the walkie-talkie.******

**"Ah, some good news, I hope," Kazuya replied. Before he spoke into the walkie-talkie, he grabbed his money and deeds while looking at his fellow playmates distrustfully, and left. Moments later, he grabbed his playing piece, and left.******

**"Nina! What's going on?" Kazuya finally responded.******

**"Shh! You have to whisper," she whispered.******

**"Why?" whispered Kazuya.******

**"Because I've found the Rival Tekken Committee!" she whispered back.******

**"Great! So who's in it?"******

**Nina peered into her goggles. "Well, other than the obvious, I see Eddy, Baek, Wang—"******

**Kazuya giggled.******

**"Grow up, Kazuya!"******

**"Sorry," he apologized.******

**"—I also see Marshall Law—gonna have to ask about that one, Bruce, Kuma, I think I see Panda too. I also see Armor King, that little girl Jack hung out with—except she's grown up. I also see Jack 2, Prototype Jack, Gun Jack, Kunimitsu?!"******

**"WHAT?! No way! I bet she joined for spite," replied Kazuya.******

**"Wouldn't surprise me."******

**"Well, we have more members than they do. We have eighteen, and they only have fifteen."******

**"Sixteen", corrected Nina. "I've found Mokujin."******

**"That friggin' fireplace filler? Dad is just insane. Nina, you stay put. We're going to bust in there and confront those guys." Kazuya turned the walkie-talkie off, and turned his attention to the Committee.******

**"Alright Committee, I just got a confirmation as to who is in the Rival Tekken Committee!" announced Kazuya.******

**"Who's in it?" asked Lei.******

**Kazuya groaned. "Damn, you want me to tell you now? Can't you just find out when we barge in?"******

**Lei shrugged his shoulders. "I don't care."******

**"Cool. Alright Committee, let's go kick some ass!" Commanded Kazuya as he pointed to the top floor of the building.**   
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**Nina had to pass the time, so she decided to play some mini-games on her cellular phone.******

**"Damn this Memory game for being so addictive," she said under her breath. She was trying to remember where she saw the snowflake, for she had one of the snowflake cards face-up.******

**"If I was being graded on my memory skills, I would fail so badly," she concluded.******

**"Nina!"******

**Nina turned around, and saw Kazuya and the rest of the Committee approach her.******

**"About time you guys got here. I almost got addicted to that Memory mini-game on my cell phone," said Nina.******

**"Oh yeah…that game really is addictive. I loved it as a kid," replied Kazuya, who began to get nostalgic.******

**"Uh, you're not about to get teary-eyed about your traumatic childhood again, are you?" asked Nina.******

**Kazuya's face changed from nostalgic to serious in a moment. "Hell no."******

**"So, how do we go inside?" asked Julia. "Do we walk in?"******

**Kazuya shook his head. "No, we should really make an entrance. You know, have some of us break the door down…okay, ME break the door down…and have Nina jump out of the vents, and then some others can break through the window or something."******

**"I don't know," said Law. "The vents look small, and we can't jump through the windows because they're so high up."******

**Kazuya held a finger to retort, but his jaw and shoulders fell. "Damn, you're right." He smacked Law with a phone book. "Thanks for ruining that idea, you bastard!"******

**"So now what?" asked Julia.******

**Kazuya was getting back into thinking stance when Yoshimitsu had an idea.******

**"I could pull off some mad ninja tricks!" he declared.******

**Kazuya raised his right eyebrow. "I'm listening."**   
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**"So, when am I getting paid?" asked Marshall Law.******

**"For the tenth time, as soon as we upstage those upstarts in that Committee!" answered Heihachi.******

**"How long is that going to take? I need to wax my masks, you know," said Kunimitsu.******

**"If I know my son, he and his little committee will make some sort of dramatic entrance soon."******

**"But I wanna put the hurt on someone NOW!" exclaimed Bruce. Heihachi threw a chair at Bruce, hitting him in the head.******

**"Anyone else want to complain?"******

**The committee remained silent. Suddenly, in a puff of ninja smoke, the Tekken Committee appeared!******

**"Holy shit, now THAT is what I call an entrance," said Kazuya. Taking his mind off of the entrance for a moment, he pointed at Heihachi. "Heihachi Mishima…dad….YOU have disgraced the Tekken Committee by creating a cheap imitation! How do you justify your actions?"******

**Heihachi laughed. "I told you I was going to create my own Committee. And I did! Wanna hear how I gathered them?"******

**Kazuya looked at his watch. He faced the rest of his Committee. "You guys got time to hear how Heihachi got his second-rate committee together?"******

**"Yeah," answered Nina.******

**"Yes," answered Jun.******

**"Sure," answered Yoshimitsu.******

**"Hell yeah!" exclaimed King.******

**"Sure, why the hell not," answered Paul.******

**"Okay," said Forrest Law.******

**"Dude," answered Hwoarang.******

**"Like, I totally do….I think," said Ling.******

**"Whatever," answered Jin.******

**"Me too," said Julia.******

**"As do I," added Michelle.******

**"I can stay for this," said Ganryu.******

**"I sure can stay," said Anna as she shook her hips.******

**"Meow," answered Kat-zumi.******

**"I got time to kill," said Lei.******

**"I have too much free time," remarked Bryan.******

**"I may as well," shrugged Lee.******

**"Great," said Kazuya. He faced his father. "Alright dad, tell your story."******

**Heihachi smiled, exposing his horrible teeth to Committee and Rival Committee alike.******

**"Thank God I got my mom's teeth," remarked Kazuya.******

**Heihachi cleared his throat. "Right after I survived that fall from the chopper, I remembered what I had said about making that Rival Committee, so I set out to do it. I first approached Kunimitsu, who I knew would still be bitter after that fake beauty pageant you all planned."******

**"And don't think I'll forgive you either!" she added.******

**"You're just an ingrate, that's all," replied Yoshimitsu.******

**Heihachi continued. "After I invited Kunimitsu, I approached Wang."******

**The Tekken Committee snickered, except for Michelle and Julia, who remarked how Wang was almost as big a pervert as Ganryu was.******

**"Oh, grow up!" exclaimed Heihachi. "Anyway, Wang was not originally going to join my cause because he thought I would be using him to help pursue my goal of upstaging you."******

**"Well, you ARE using him!" exclaimed Jun.******

**Heihachi shrugged his shoulders. "You're right. The only way he'd join is if I convinced him that I needed his help fixing the Mishima family."******

**Kazuya scoffed. "Hey Wang, you gonna take that crap from him? If I were you, I'd kick some serious ass!"******

**Wang shook his head. "Sorry sonny…but I can't get out unless Heihachi chooses to get rid of me. However, I'll feel better about it if I could get a quick feel of Michelle or Julia—"******

**Julia, Michelle, and even Ganryu started wailing on Wang.******

**"Anyway, I approached Marshall Law soon after. Marshall didn't want to join, so I bribed him."******

**"Yeah well, if you haven't noticed, 'dad', Baek is also in there too! Law and Baek…I mean, COME ON!" exclaimed Lee.******

**"Hey, I thought maybe Baek would provide me with the same stuff Hwoarang smokes!" retorted the eldest Mishima.******

**"Dude, what did that clown with the bad teeth say about me?" asked Hwoarang.******

**"Just keep hallucinating," commanded Kazuya. Hwoarang shrugged his shoulders, and smoked his joint.******

**"I don't even know why I'm here anymore," Baek muttered under his breath.******

**Heihachi ignored him. "I approached Bruce soon after. The man was out of work, so I asked him if he wanted a chance to beat up Lei Wu-Long. He said 'hell yes', and joined."******

**At that moment, Lei and Bruce gave each other evil glares.******

**"I feel left out," whimpered Bryan.******

**"Then glare with me," said Lei.******

**"Okay!" Bryan said cheerfully, and joined in.******

**Kazuya rolled his eyes.******

**"I invited Armor King to my Committee for the same reason that you invited King the Second into your Committee."******

**"I guess even you want a party animal, huh?" asked Kazuya.******

**A perplexed look came over Heihachi's face. "Wait, you invited King the Second because of his partying abilities? I invited Armor King to cash in on the wrestling fad."******

**King and Kazuya rolled their eyes. "Alright, how about the Jacks? Especially P.O.S. Jack—what were you thinking?"******

**"Robots are always interesting to have. Jane's here because she claimed that wherever Jack-2 or Gun Jack went, she would go as well. Prototype Jack is with me because he felt lonely without the other Jacks."******

**Kazuya's facial expression was a mix of sarcasm and perplexion(What? Perplexion isn't a word? Well, I don't care if perplexion isn't a word, it is NOW!). He was ready to comment, but he changed his mind.******

**"I already know why you have Kuma and Panda here. One to maim Paul, and the other to try and seduce Ling to join your side, right?"******

**"They are now," replied Heihachi.******

**"Thanks for giving him ideas," sneered Paul.******

**"Paul, you wanna be Kuma's lunch today? Because I can arrange that!"******

**Paul remained quiet.******

**"One more question, dad: Mokujin. What the hell?"******

**"He's our wooden mascot."******

**Kazuya nodded clumsily. "I…see. Well then, now that we've heard your sorry story, I'm here to issue a challenge to you!"******

**Heihachi grinned, exposing those horrible teeth again.******

**"God, dad, what the hell did you do to your teeth?"******

**"I practiced catching axes in them."******

**"Just because you saw that in that crappy Anime doesn't mean you DO IT in real life! Stupid dumb-ass!"******

**"Forget my teeth, son! What challenge were you going to issue to me and my Committee?"******

**For once, Kazuya was quiet.******

**"You don't have an idea, do you?" Jun whispered to Kazuya.******

**"How typical," replied Paul as he yawned.******

**Kazuya's self-control couldn't last any longer. He grabbed Paul, and tossed him out the window.******

**"That's the second time he's done that at this week's meeting," remarked Lee.******

**"Anyway…my challenge to you….well…AH!" Kazuya snapped his fingers. "I got it. I challenge you and your sorry-ass second-rate Tekken Committee knock-offs to a film festival competition!"******

**"WHAT?!" Exclaimed everyone else, Tekken Committee and Rival Tekken Committee alike.******

**Kazuya laughed. "Yeah. We'll have awards for best actor, best actress, best picture, best outfit (which I will easily win, because NOBODY messes with the purple suit), best soundtrack, best special effects…you know, the usual. Everyone is welcome to make their own movie. Everyone from their respectable (or second-rate) committee is going to represent their committee as they work on their film. The represented Committee that walks away with the most awards wins. "******

**Heihachi folded his arms. "Agreed! When will the festival be?"******

**Kazuya shrugged his shoulders. "When I can find an open slot on my schedule."******

**Suddenly, father and son sat down with their schedule books.******

**"How does two months from now sound to you?" asked Heihachi.******

**Kazuya adjusted his reading glasses. "No good. Jun and I are having our anniversary then."******

**"Has it been a year already?"******

**"Yup. I'm free a month and a half from now."******

**"Can't do it then. I have to give some speech about world peace."******

**"Damn! I have a month from now, but that's it."******

**Heihachi checked his schedule. "Works for me, son!"******

**"Great!" Kazuya and Heihachi shook hands. Moments later, the schedule books were gone (where, I don't know), and the two were staring at one another once again.******

**"Then a month from now, my Committee will win more awards than yours," concluded Kazuya.******

**"Ha! You only wish it would be so!" exclaimed Heihachi.**   
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**BACK AT THE COMMITTEE(the original one)******

**"Damn, so much has happened today," said Bryan.******

**"I know…suddenly, I have a movie to make!" exclaimed Anna.******

**"I never thought I'd actually be in a fighting flick…uh, unless I decide not to make a fighting flick," said Lei.******

**"I wonder if I could use all kinds of explosives to make the movie look cool," pondered Nina.******

**"You think a wrestling documentary would be good?" King asked Yoshimitsu. Yoshimitsu shrugged his shoulders.******

**"Well, we all have a good amount of time to work on our films," reminded Kazuya. "I expect to see some good ones too!"******

**"Hey, question," announced Bryan.******

**"Yeah, what is it, Bryan?"******

**"Are you going to judge? In fact, are you going to rig the whole thing?"******

**Kazuya was shocked. "Bryan, I am hurt by such a question. Of COURSE I won't rig the damn thing. Why would I go and do that?"******

**Bryan was about to answer the question.******

**"Don't answer that. I'll find a judging committee for our film festival, if it makes you happy."******

**"As long as they don't know you, I'm okay with it," replied Bryan as he leaned back in his chair.******

**Kazuya scoffed. "Oh, that reminds me…did you ever hit that convenience store?"******

**Bryan fell back in his chair, but quickly stood up. "Oh yeah! Here, I got your M&Mm's." Bryan tossed Kazuya a King-sized bag of M&M's.******

**"Finally" Kazuya said to himself as he caught the package. He was about to open it when he looked at it. He glared at Bryan.******

**Bryan leaned back in his chair. "I'm off the hook now, Lei." Suddenly, a crowbar hit Bryan right in his head, knocking him down.******

**"Off the hook and into the noose," Lei commented.******

**"Very funny," Bryan replied. He slowly stood up, aware that he could be hit by more flying objects. "What the hell did I do, man?!"******

**"These, are PEANUT M&M's. These are not the M&M's you took from me," replied Kazuya.******

**"I didn't know that!" exclaimed Bryan.******

**"Well, now you do. You still owe me some damn M&M's. Oh, and I'm eating these," added Kazuya. He noticed the rest of the Committee watching in awe; Yoshimitsu had taped the whole ordeal.******

**"Yoshimitsu why the hell did you tape this?" asked Kazuya.******

**"For my movie. I've always wanted to get into making independent films, so I took footage of every 'where's my M&M's' moment you've ever had with Bryan."******

**"Even the part where I discuss why it's important that I have these M&M's with the aid of finger puppets?" asked Kazuya.******

**"It's in there," answered Yoshimitsu as he patted his camcorder.******

**"Normally, I would have had you skewered, Yoshimitsu, however, due to the circumstances you claim to tape them under, I will let this one slide. However, if you do it again, I'm going to steal your sword and sell it on e-bay, got it?"******

**"Yes sir!" agreed Yoshimitsu.******

**"Alright then. You all go out and make your movies, except for Yoshi, who just has to edit it, I am sure. Or something. Anyway, just do it, and I'll see you all at next week's meeting. Dismissed!"******

**The Committee left the room in a hurry, so that they could work on their movies.******

**"You know what your movie is going to be about?" asked Lee.******

**Kazuya ate another handful of M&M's. "I'm not sure yet. All I know is that it will involve groupies."******

**Lee raised an eyebrow. "Uh…okay. I'm thinking of making one about me and my fast car. I'll be kicking ass too while the car is going really fast."******

**"Sounds like you put a lot of thought into that."******

**"Hey, what is that supposed to mean?"******

**Kazuya shrugged his shoulders. "Don't worry about it. Come on, Lee. We're going to show that Rival Tekken Committee just who is the superior Committee, and who is the second-rate Committee!"******

**"Okay," replied Lee.******

**Narrator: With the film festival challenge in place, the Tekken Committee has a month to make their movies to compete with those of the Rival Tekken Committee.******

**"Hey…this is our first two-parter," observed Kazuya.******

**Narrator: But what if there's a third part?******

**Kazuya ate another handful of M&M's. "We'll cross that bridge when we get there. I'm going to make a really good movie, you know."******

**Narrator: I'm sure. But I guess we don't find out until the next story…or the story after that—******

**"Dammit, let's just assume that there is only a second part to this story and not a third, okay?"******

**Narrator: *rolling eyes* alright, fine, whatever…**   
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**AND NOW, A WORD FROM KAZUYA MISHIMA******

**"I knew that calm spell I had in the last story wouldn't last. Where the writer got the idea of having my character throw people out of windows is beyond me. I think she's making fun of the fact that Mishimas tend to throw one another from high distances…which is just utter coincidence!******

**"I'd also like to add that I would never use a film festival as a means of proving superiority. That's just silly. But, if it works for the story, who am I to complain? Also, 'perplexion'? That isn't a word. The author knew it wasn't a word, and yet she decides that it is a word. The author is such a psycho; she can't decide on one name. By the way, would Nina's night vision goggles really work in a building in broad daylight? I wasn't too sure about that one right there.******

**"However, there is something I would like to commend, and that is the part about Heihachi's teeth. I mean, my God! They're terrible! Did you ever see them in Tekken 2? It was the most frightening thing I ever saw! I'm glad the author addressed this, as to warn you all what happens when you try to catch axes in your teeth.******

**"Well, I guess that's it then. I've said more than enough now, so I'll just leave you all anticipating the fifth story. Wow, a fifth one. Can you believe it? I honestly didn't think the series would carry on for this long, but I guess I was wrong, which is unusual as I am never wrong. Okay, I'm rambling. So screw you guys; I'm headed for home."**   


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**NEXT EPISODE: It's time for the film festival (at least, we hope it is.) Will Kazuya's Tekken Committee upstage Heihachi's Rival Tekken Committee, or will it be the other way around? Will Bryan remember what kind of M&M's he took from Kazuya? Will Yoshimitsu's documentary of Kazuya and his lost M&M's be a hit with the judging committee? And what of that film Kazuya plans on making that would have groupies? Also, does anybody notice that I can't stop writing this cliffhanger thingy? All this and more in TEKKEN COMMITTEE: The Film Festival of the Iron Fist!**   
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	5. Film Festival of the Iron Fist

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**TEKKEN COMMITTEE: FILM FESTIVAL OF THE IRON FIST**   
**By the psycho known as Saiyan Rage/Lord Kazuya******

**It began with a shout:******

**"CUT!"******

**"How many more times are we going to do this scene?" complained Lee.******

**"Hey, I have to be very appealing to the ladies during the entire movie. That one take…I just didn't feel like I was appealing enough."******

**Lee gave Kazuya a blank look. "You're drinking tea."******

**Kazuya sneered. "Hey, I can make myself look very sexy while drinking a damn cup of tea! Now let's try it again, and after this scene, I promise to help you on your movie about the fast car."******

**Lee rolled his eyes. "Alright…'Unnamed Film, Scene Three, Take Two-hundred and Twenty-Three.'"******

**Narrator: For the past three weeks, the Tekken Committee has been spending time making their movies to compete with those made by the Rival Tekken Committee. In case you're clueless as to what is going on, Kazuya and his Tekken Committee met with Heihachi and his Rival Tekken Committee three weeks ago. Kazuya issued a challenge to Heihachi and his Rival Committee—a challenge that involves—ah screw it, if you want to know what happened so badly, then go read "Rival Tekken Committee".******

**Narrator: Anyway, let's see how the Committee is doing with their movies.******

**"Alright, so how are we all doing with our movies?" asked Kazuya.******

**Narrator: I JUST said that—******

**"Shut up. They can't hear you…oh great; they're all looking at me funny. Stop talking to me."******

**Narrator: But I wasn't—******

**"So how are we doing with them movies?" asked Kazuya, completely ignoring the narrator.******

**"Mine's already done!" Yoshimitsu announced happily. "And since I have all this free time, I've been helping everyone else with their films."******

**"Especially mine," added Nina. "And Yoshimitsu, I'd like to add, is GREAT with the camera. I bet his movie will display his great camera skills."******

**Yoshimitsu made a peace sign with his fingers.******

**Kazuya nodded. "Well, mine's going great. I've finally finished the tea-drinking scene."******

**Lee rolled his eyes.******

**"Poor Lee had to film every take too…the only reason he agreed to help was because I'd help him with his film."******

**"Lee, you're making a film? I'm impressed," said Anna.******

**Lee blushed. "Yeah…it's nothing much, really…"******

**"Aw, don't be so humble Lee. Hey everyone, Lee's film is going to involve a car chase and some martial arts. I recommend it," said Kazuya.******

**"Aren't we in a good mood?" observed Lee.******

**"Oh, they'll see it for what it really is a week from now," whispered Kazuya.******

**Lee let out a nervous laugh.******

**"My film's got kick-ass martial arts too—ooh! A pun!" exclaimed Lei.******

**"Yeah, I'm in it too," added Bryan. "I get shot a lot, and even blown up, but I still live."******

**"In your case that would be real life," replied Kazuya.******

**"Yeah, but it would look so cool on film, you know?" said Bryan.******

**"Yeah, sure. Alright, anyone else want to share their progress?" asked Kazuya.******

**"Hey Julia, do we, like, want to share?" asked Ling.******

**"Not yet. I want it to be a complete surprise," Julia answered enthusiastically.******

**"Oh, like, okay!"******

**Kazuya rolled his eyes.******

**"My film is going great," replied Hwoarang.******

**"God, I hope you're not saying 'Dude' and smoking joints during the whole movie," muttered Kazuya.******

**"I'm not…anymore," replied Hwoarang as he shifted his eyes.******

**"Oh God," said Kazuya. "Paul! I haven't had a reason to abuse you yet. How's your film going?"******

**Paul leaned back in his chair. "I'll just have you know that it's going so well, I'M going to get the award for 'best dressed'."******

**Kazuya smiled, not because Paul was an idiot, but because he had a reason to abuse Paul. "Have you not learned by now, Paul? NOBODY messes with the purple suit! I'm so going to win it!"******

**"Yeah, right. That purple suit is just tacky—"******

**Kazuya hacked Paul with a hatchet.******

**"Thanks for writing that memo, Lee," commended Kazuya. "I don't know what I would have done without it."******

**Lee nodded. "Sure, you're welcome."******

**Kazuya looked at his watch. "Alright, I'm dismissing you all so you can finish up your films."******

**The Committee remained in their seats.******

**"Get the hell out!" shouted Kazuya.******

**The Committee all left in a hurry, even Paul (who was very much okay).******

**Kazuya laughed. "We're going to show that second-rate committee how films are made, Lee."******

**Lee nodded. "Right. So, what scene am I going to help you with today?"******

**"The scene with the groupies."******

**Lee raised an eyebrow. "Uh, which one?"******

**Kazuya stared at Lee. "Dammit, you know what scene it is!" He slapped Lee upside the head with a script.******

**"Uh, yeah, sure," Lee humored.**   
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**ONE WEEK LATER******

**"It took several thousand takes, but I finally finished my movie," declared Kazuya.******

**"Hey!" Lee started to cry.******

**"Oh all right, Lee did help," muttered Kazuya.******

**Lee smiled. "Thank you." He approached to the judging panel, who were stepping out of their limo. "Are you people sure you're good at what you do?"******

**One judge raised an eyebrow skeptically. "Why wouldn't we know what we're doing?"******

**"Uh, no reason. It's just that there are judging panels out there that can't really judge for crap (coughcoughGrammyscoughcough)."******

**The judges nodded. "Don't worry! We know good movies when we see them."******

**Lee shrugged his shoulders. "I should hope so."******

**"It's about to start," said Kazuya as he looked at his watch. "I don't see any sign of my dad and his lame-ass committee! Ha! I bet he forgot about the whole damn thing!"******

**"If he did, wouldn't it be pointless to have this film festival?" asked Lee.******

**Kazuya gave Lee the evil eye. "No, it wouldn't, and you know why?"******

**"Uh, not really."******

**Kazuya rolled his eyes. "Because NOBODY messes with the purple suit! My God! Have you paid attention to the last three episodes?"******

**Lee raised a silver eyebrow. "I'm really worried about you, Kazuya. You keep referring to these other 'episodes'. Do you know something we—"******

**Kazuya handed Lee three cartons of cigarettes. Lee became quiet, and slowly backed away with his prized bribe.******

**Suddenly, a limousine pulled up. The media immediately rushed to the limo, and started taking pictures.******

**"Okay, they're just taking pictures of the damn car," observed Kazuya.******

**"Again," added Lee.******

**"You know, I still don't think that one photographer worked with the media," said Kazuya.******

**"Yeah…they don't normally take pictures of a celebrity's ass- unless they work with some girlie magazine that specializes in ogling guys," replied Lee.******

**"Lee, I think we're going to be ogled in a girlie magazine," concluded Kazuya.******

**"And you have a problem with that?"******

**"Hell no! Let them ogle me…I'll never meet them anyway."******

**"Stranger things have happened," Lee said to himself.******

**Heihachi stepped out of the car, wearing his feathered coat, his white suit, and holding a cane. Numerous flashes from the camera greeted him.******

**"Oh my—" started Kazuya, but Lee shook his head. Kazuya simply cleared his throat.******

**"Hello, sons," sneered Heihachi.******

**"Hello, father," they chimed in unison. Heihachi simply sneered again, and walked away. Kazuya held up his middle finger behind Heiahchi's back.******

**"I saw that!" exclaimed Heihachi.******

**"I knew he would," Kazuya said.******

**"How come?" asked Lee.******

**Kazuya patted Lee on the shoulder. "You learn that sorta thing when you become a father."******

**Lee glared at his brother.**   
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**INSIDE THE THEATER******

**"Hey Nina, how come you didn't dress up?" asked Jun. Nina was wearing her purple assassin suit, with her trusty knife in a hilt tied around her right leg.******

**"I have to kill someone after this," she answered.******

**"Oh my. Why not work on it now?"******

**"And miss the opportunity to become an action star?"******

**"Good point."******

**Nina smiled, and then walked up to Kazuya.******

**"Nina, you got another job, huh?" he asked.******

**"Yeah. But I had to come here."******

**"I know you've been waiting for your opportunity to become an action star. This must be really important for you."******

**"You better believe it! Oh, I see Michelle. If I don't talk to you later, I'll see you at tea tomorrow." She smiled, and walked away. Kazuya grinned at her, until Jun punched him in the shoulder.******

**"What was that back there, Mister I'm-going-to-kick-Lei's-ass-if-he-flirts-with-my-wife?!" demanded Jun.******

**Kazuya scratched his head. "Honey, you know we're always going for tea. Nina always tells me about her ambitions because I've always thought she could do something better in her life than kill people. For real, anyway."******

**Jun raised an eyebrow.******

**"Besides, she's more of a sister figure than anything. No chemistry whatsoever."******

**"Prove it."******

**Kazuya grabbed Jun, and kissed her.******

**"Dude, looks like total tongue action there," said Hwoarang as he lit up a joint (in case you were wondering, he was wearing his tuxedo shirt).******

**Lee started timing the kiss.******

**"Aw man, I don't need to be seeing that!" exclaimed a disgusted Jin.******

**"Actually, it's kind of turning me on," purred Julia. Jin blushed.******

**"Like, grossness!" cried Ling.******

**"They've been at it for a minute and a half," said Lee as he continued to time the couple.******

**"God, Kazuya is such a lucky bastard," muttered Lei.******

**"Lei, you sound like a jealous girl, and that's really scaring me," said Bryan.******

**"I know, but IT'S NOT FAIR!" cried Lei as he grabbed Bryan.******

**"You're…crushing…me…" winced Bryan.******

**"My God, two minutes, forty seconds! Kazuya, you gotta take a breather!" exclaimed Lee.******

**The two were still at it.******

**"Oh man, I don't think they can stop, dude!" exclaimed Hwoarang.******

**"Man, and he's not even drunk," added King.******

**"This is just insane," said Jin.******

**"Great, now the media wants a piece of this," said Lee. "Three minutes…"******

**The two finally stopped. The camera-wielding media groaned in disappointment, and walked away with their heads hung in shame.******

**"Dude, we didn't think you were going to make it for a second there," said Hwoarang.******

**"I've just been grossed out for like, life," said Ling.******

**"I've just seen my parents make out. I'm going to sit down," said Jin.******

**"I'll come with," purred Julia.******

**"I'm convinced," said Jun. She smirked at Kazuya, stroked his blushing face, and then walked to her seat.******

**"Lee, time?"******

**"Three minutes. A new record."******

**Kazuya straightened the cuffs on his suit. "Beautiful." He saw more members of the Rival Tekken Committee enter the theater.******

**"The rejects have arrived," Paul said.******

**Kazuya turned to look at Paul. "That's the smartest thing I've ever heard you say," he remarked.******

**Paul smiled in self-satisfaction. "You really think so, huh?"******

**Kazuya nodded. "Yeah. Now I'll go shoot myself for ever saying that."******

**"And I'm going to shoot myself for agreeing with you."******

**"Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention?" requested Lee. "The first annual…uh…what is this called again, Kazuya?"******

**Kazuya answered by throwing a megaphone at Lee.******

**"What the hell did I do?" Lee asked.******

**"Read the damn thing," answered Kazuya.******

**Lee read the megaphone, glared at Kazuya, then finished the introduction. "The First Annual Film Festival of the Iron Fist is about to begin. We ask that there be no SMOKING?!"******

**Hwoarang groaned, and smoked the rest of his joint in one inhale.******

**"That can't be good for you," said Michelle.******

**Tears welled up in Hwoarang's eyes. "Dude…I'm way in over my head…here…whee…trip starting in three…two…."******

**Michelle shook her head and rolled her eyes.******

**"Uh, ahem, anyway, we also ask that you turn off all pagers and cellular phones. Failure to comply to these simple rules will…" Lee rolled his eyes.******

**"READ IT!" ordered Kazuya.******

**Lee sighed. "Failure to comply to these simple rules will result in getting shot."******

**Kazuya crossed his arms in satisfaction.******

**"Our first film is by Nina Williams, called 'Action Girl Nina'."******

**Everyone applauded, except for Anna and the Rival Tekken Committee.**   
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**"ACTION GIRL NINA"**   
**(The camera shows the inside of a building. A group of men in suits are holding a meeting.)******

**Guy in Suit 1: We're going to carry on our operation tonight.******

**GIS 2: Excellent. Let us proceed.******

**(A knock is heard on the door.)******

**GIS 3: Who is it?!******

**Delivery Boy: I got a package here for ya.******

**(GIS 3 opens the door. Delivery Boy brings the package inside the office.)******

**Delivery Boy: Just sign on the dotted line.******

**(GIS 4 signs the paper. Delivery Boy holds hand out for a tip, but GIS 4 slams the door in his face.)******

**GIS 5: It must be those weapons we smuggled from Hong Kong.******

**GIS 6: Let's open it up and see for ourselves.******

**(GIS 7 opens up the large crate with a crowbar. The top suddenly smacks into GIS 7. Suddenly, Nina jumps out of the crate and onto the table. She is wearing black leather pants, black boots, and a black sleeveless shirt.)******

**Nina: Sorry boys, but this ISN'T a weapon you'd want to deal with.******

**GIS 8: Oh my God! It's that assassin chick!******

**(Nina shoots GIS 8 with a double-barrel shotgun she grabs from nowhere, killing GIS 8)******

**Nina: It's "Action Girl Nina" to you, bastard.******

**(Nina immediately opens fire on the Guys in Suits. However, the Guys in Suits are also armed—with machine guns. Nina dodges the enemy fire by running on the walls, jumping onto the ceiling, and then she jumps off the wall, and takes out two Guys in Suits as she is landing. She grabs their machine guns, and fires on every Guy in Suit in the room while moonsaulting, flipping, and running on the walls and ceilings.)******

**Keanu Reeves: Whoa.******

**(Nina lands, and throws away the machine guns. A Guy in Suit struggles to reach for his gun and shoot Nina, but she throws a knife at him, and it lands in his head.)******

**Nina: Good night, boys. (Smirks, and walks away.)******

**THE END******

**The audience applauded.******

**"I gotta say, despite the senseless killing, those were some crazy-ass stunts you were pulling there," commended Kazuya.******

**Nina grinned. "Hey, I figured if those people in 'The Matrix' could do it, why not me? Hell, I didn't need special effects to pull those off either!"******

**"Looked like a Matrix rip-off to me," scoffed Paul. "You even got Keanu Reeves in there saying 'whoa'."******

**Anna giggled.******

**"Paul, the only thing stopping me from breaking your nose is the thought of how sorry your film's going to be," replied Nina.******

**Paul sneered.******

**"Hey, you'd make a kick-ass action girl!" shouted Hwoarang.******

**"I agree! You've got serious girl power going on there!" agreed Julia.******

**Nina smiled humbly. "Oh, you're too kind."******

**"Not too original, but whatever. I think you should be an action girl," said Jin.******

**"Well, we'll see," replied Nina.******

**Anna was tempted to say something, but decided to keep quiet.******

**"Our next film is by Bob—"******

**"Dude! That's not my name!"******

**Lee rolled his eyes. "HWOARANG, called "It's a Wonderful Riff."******

**"Oh boy," Kazuya said to himself.******

**"Hell yeah! Here comes my picture, dude!" exclaimed Hwoarang.**   
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**"IT'S A WONDERFUL RIFF"******

**(Hwoarang is shown tuning his acoustic guitar. He counts to three, and then starts playing a riff from "Smells Like Teen Spirit". Then he plays "Purple Haze".)******

**"I did 'Purple Haze' especially for you, man," Hwoarang declared proudly to Kazuya.******

**"Thanks…you really didn't have to…though," replied Kazuya. "I don't know whether to be honored or scared out of my mind. You don't hallucinate when you look at my suit…do you?"******

**"Uh…hey! There's a 'Free Bird' riff coming up!!"******

**" 'Free Bird'?! Hell yeah!" Kazuya turned around to see the screen.******

**(Hwoarang continues playing riffs from another Nirvana song, Stone Temple Pilots, and Pearl Jam. Finally; he plays "Free Bird".)******

**The audience went crazy as Hwoarang played "Free Bird".******

**THE END******

**The audience held up lighters (including members of the Rival Tekken Committee, until Heihachi took all their lighters away.)—except for Yoshimitsu, who held up his glowing sword.******

**Kazuya held up two purple lighters. "That was…unique."******

**Jin was holding a lighter with a flame design on it. "I wouldn't be surprised if you got the award for 'best soundtrack'."******

**Hwoarang held up a "thumbs up" to Jin. "Rock on, dude."******

**Jin smirked. "Good thing he's too high to realize he was complemented by me," he said to himself.******

**Lee put his silver lighter away. "Our next film is by…me! How about that! My film is 'Fly Like the Silver Wind."******

**"The truth will come out," muttered Kazuya.**   
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**"FLY LIKE THE SILVER WIND"******

**(Lee is seen driving his white Honda. He is going at about a hundred miles per hour, and the wind whips his silver hair all over.)**   
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**"I kept having to fix Lee's hair," Kazuya complained.******

  
**(Lee is suddenly attacked by a group of punks riding in an SUV. Lee steps onto the hood of his car, while it is still somehow accelerating, and fights the punks.)**   
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**"How is the car still moving?" Jun whispered to Kazuya.******

**"This is one of those films that was made without consistency in mind. So when the film ends, just applaud to make Lee feel better about himself. In fact, pass it on," answered Kazuya.******

**Jun did so, and whispered it to Michelle, who whispered it to Yoshimitsu, who whispered it to Nina, who whispered it to Julia, who whispered it to Jin(who objected at first, because he thought it would be wrong to deceive Lee into thinking his film was good, but then Kazuya threatened to cut off his allowance, and Jun insisted that he should be nice to his uncle anyway), who whispered it to Bryan, who whispered it to Lei, who whispered it to Hwoarang, who whispered it to Ling, and so forth, because I can only write so much for this story.******

**(The film ends with Lee having beaten up the punks, and the SUV ends up rolling off a cliff and exploding on impact. Lee steps out of his car, and takes a victory smoke of his cigarette.)******

**Most of the audience clapped, except for the Rival Tekken Committee (well, Baek clapped) and some of the audience, because they were somehow told by someone to "Cheerleader at the end of the film" rather than "Cheer Lee on at the end of the film", so they sat there in a very confused state.******

**Lee smiled and took a bow. "Thank you, you're all too kind…for a second there, I didn't think you'd like my little film!"******

**The Tekken Committee all looked at each other nervously.******

**"I mean, I thought 'oh man, are they really going to like this?' And as it turned out, you all did—"******

**"Lee, shut up and introduce my damn movie already!" shouted Kazuya.******

**Lee stared at Kazuya angrily. "Well, fine….the next film is Kazuya Mishima's film, titled 'Kazuya's Biggest Challenge.'"******

**The audience applauded very loudly(except for the Rival Tekken Committee and Paul). Kazuya smiled.**   
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**"KAZUYA'S BIGGEST CHALLENGE"******

**(It starts with Kazuya drinking tea.)**   
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**"It took us over two hundred takes for that scene alone," Kazuya whispered to Jun.******

**"Why? Because you kept getting a wrinkle in your suit?" joked Paul. Kazuya grabbed the hot-blooded fighter by the collar of his tuxedo.******

**"What have I told you about the purple suit?"******

**"Nobody messes with it…you really need to stop getting that tired message out."******

**Kazuya wanted to smack Paul's face into the chair so badly, but he decided to continue watching his film.******

**(Kazuya continues to drink his tea until a group of girls spot him.)******

**Groupie 1: Oh my God!******

**Groupie 2: It's him! IT'S HIM!!******

**Groupie 3: AAAAAAAAA! (Faints)******

**Kazuya: Oh shit! (Runs)******

**Groupie 4: Don't leave us, you purple suit-wearing hunk, you!**   
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**" 'You purple suit-wearing hunk, you?'" Jin asked aloud. Kazuya turned around to glare at his son.******

**"You like being grounded, son?"******

**"Not really, dad."******

**"Then for your sake, DON'T repeat what you had said about the dialogue in my movie."******

**Jin rolled his eyes. "Whatever."******

**(Kazuya continues to run from the screaming groupies.)******

**Groupie 5: I just want your autograph, Kazzy-chan!******

**Groupie 6: Sign my underwear please, Kazzy-chan!******

**Groupie 7: Can I touch your purple suit so I can brag to all my friends on my Kazuya webpage?******

**Kazuya: Leave me alone, you psycho girls! (Turns a corner, and bumps into Sephiroth.)**   
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**"Holy shit! How did YOU get Sephiroth to be in your movie?" asked Yoshimitsu.******

**"We've known each other for a while…it's a funny story, really. See, I was picking up my purple suit from the dry cleaners, and then he shows up to pick up his coat and—hey, I'll tell you later. Just keep watching the movie!" answered Kazuya.**   
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**Sephiroth: What brings you here, Kazuya?******

**Kazuya: (panting) Groupies…they've been chasing me for miles. You?******

**Sephiroth: I was just picking up my sword from the polisher, and—wait, did you say 'groupies'?******

**(Kazuya nods)******

**Sephiroth: Oh God.******

**(The groupies finally run around the same corner that Kazuya ran around moments before, and they see both him and Sephiroth.)******

**Groupie 8: AAAAAAAAAA!!! OH MY GAWD!******

**Groupie 9: It…it…it's SEPHIROTH!******

**Groupie 10: Sephiroth AND Kazuya? Oh my God, I think I just died and went to heaven.******

**Groupie 11: Let's get them!******

**(The Groupies continue to scream and run after Kazuya and Sephiroth, who are already running for their lives.)******

**Groupie 12: Sephy, can I have a lock of your sexy silver hair?******

**Groupie 13: Kazzy and Sephy, is it okay if I pair you two in a yaoi I'm writing?******

**Groupie 14: Can I be one of your cult members, Sephiroth?******

**Sephiroth: I KNEW I shouldn't have come here!******

**Kazuya: Can you take me to your world?******

**Groupie 15: I bought a trench coat just like the one you have, Kazuya!**   
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**"Scary thing is that people actually tell me this," replied Kazuya.**   
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**Sephiroth: If you have an idea, I would love to hear it right now.******

**Kazuya: I do. Come on!******

**(The two step into a disguise shop. The words "Five Minutes Later" are displayed on the screen, and Kazuya, disguised as Jin, and Sephiroth, disguised as Hojo, step out.)**   
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**"Sephiroth wasn't too thrilled about dying his hair black," commented Kazuya.******

**(The Groupies finally catch up to Kazuya and Sephiroth.)******

**Groupie 16: They're nowhere to be seen!******

**Groupie 17: Hey, I see them—no, wait; it's just Jin and that creepy Hojo guy.******

**(The groupies all groan, and walk away. Kazuya slicks his hair back, and Sephiroth removes his glasses, and his hair reverts to its original silver color.)******

**Sephiroth: We actually did it. We outsmarted our groupies!******

**Kazuya: It's not so difficult. Besides, I'm sure the experience will have them talking for about a year.******

**Sephiroth: Works for me. Hey, wanna get some coffee?******

**Kazuya: Okay..******

**THE END******

**The audience applauded wildly.******

**"Dude, he got Sephiroth in his film?! I wasn't hallucinating, was I?" asked Hwoarang.******

**Nina tapped Kazuya on the shoulder. "Hey…was that the REAL Sephiroth by any chance?"******

**Kazuya nodded. "Oh yeah. Trust me, only his, Cloud's, and all those other guys at SOLDIER have eyes that glow like that."******

**Nina nodded. "You are just too damn lucky to have met Sephiroth…"******

**"I wish you hired me to be one of the groupies!" whined Julia.******

**"I called, but you were apparently busy on your movie!" replied Kazuya.******

**"Oh? Hrm. Well, if you make another movie with Sephiroth, I want in!" she exclaimed.******

**"Me too!" added Michelle.******

**"Dad, that really offended me. There is no way in hell that a bunch of groupies would reject me for you."******

**"Jin, understand this: Kazuya Groupies only want a bad boy—you know, one who wears purple suits, trench coats, can cross his arms like the bad-ass, looks great in a sleeveless shirt and torn jeans, and has a dark personality. OH! That's me!"******

**Jin folded his arms. "In your world, maybe."******

**Kazuya grabbed a hatchet, but Jun knocked it out of his hand.******

**"Alright," said Lee. "Our next film is Yoshimitsu's documentary, 'Oh M&M's, Where Art Thou?'"******

**Kazuya nodded at Yoshimitsu, who nodded back at Kazuya.**   
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**"OH M&M'S, WHERE ART THOU?"******

**(The film starts with Kazuya throwing a brick through Bryan's window. The note on the brick says, of course, "WHERE ARE MY M&M'S?!" Another scene shows Kazuya hitting Bryan with giant pads of paper reminding him to get the M&M's.)******

**Kazuya: Dammit, I want my M&M's!******

**Bryan: Why are you obsessing over it?******

**Kazuya: You stole them and ate them! I DEMAND a replacement!******

**(Another scene shows Bryan giving Kazuya a King-Size package of M&M's, but is then hit in the head by a crowbar.)******

**Kazuya: These are PEANUT M&M'S. These are not the M&M's you took from me.******

**(We see Kazuya staring out of a window.)******

**Kazuya: I really wanted to eat those M&M's.******

**THE END******

**The audience clapped; some of them were tearful. People started tossing King-Sized bags of different varieties of M&M's to Kazuya.******

**"Wow, REALLY good camera work there," commended Julia.******

**Yoshimitsu grinned.******

**"Oh boo-hoo," scoffed Bryan. Kazuya threw some peanut M&M's at Bryan's head.******

**"You need to follow their example, Fury!" exclaimed Kazuya.******

**"But I don't remember what kind I took!"******

**"Then you get your ass to the store and buy every kind they have (except for Peanut), so that when you give it to me, I can say 'about damn time!' and you won't be hit in the head by bricks…for a while."******

**Bryan shrugged his shoulders and rolled his eyes. Kazuya threw a tripod at him in response.******

**"Our next film is by King, called 'Beer, Children, and Wrestling Mats: A Small Autobiography."******

**"Alright! My film's up!" exclaimed King as he held up a beer can.**   
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**"BEER, CHILDREN, AND WRESTLING MATS: A SMALL AUTOBIOGRAPHY"******

**(We see footage of a young King wearing a paper-plate Jaguar mask)******

**King: I used to always watch King's wrestling matches on Saturday Night Slamfest on Pay Per View. He was my hero, my idol, I just thought he kicked ass!******

**(Footage is shown of the original King laying some smack-down on some poor wrestler)**   
  
**King: What was even cooler was that I was raised at an orphanage run by him. He was a great guy, so nice, and he wanted the best for us. However, at one point, the orphanage was running out of money, and he became an alcoholic. Things seemed really bad, until his rival convinced him to take up wrestling again and participate in the tournament.******

**(Footage is shown of King body-slamming a helpless wrestler)******

**King: As I got older, I ended up learning some wrestling techniques from the original King. I was very much honored to train under the great King, you know? I also helped out at the orphanage, and I would always tell the kids there about King and his achievements.******

**(Footage is shown of King the Second drop-kicking his opponent.)******

**King: The death of the original King was truly a tragic moment. Before he died, he told me that the children needed me at the orphanage, so I took over. But, I also decided to become a wrestler with what moves I learned. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough, and I was considered a joke compared to the original King. Then, this Armor King guy shows up, and says he wants to train me. I knew that the original King and Armor King were rivals, but I decided to trust the guy—after all, he did help King out back then.******

**(Footage is shown of King wailing on a wrestler.)******

**King: Before I knew it, I became a huge success. People would cheer me on wildly, and I won championship belt after championship belt. The kids totally admired me, and I went to as many parties as I allowed myself to. Unfortunately, Armor King decided to retire, so that was a sad day in wrestling.******

**(Footage is shown of King hanging out with the Tekken Committee.)******

**King: I've got so many fans out there now, and so many kids that look up to me. I'm even a part of this Committee—sure, they're weird, and the head of the Committee throws a lot of stuff, but they're all really cool in every which way. So life is good, and I want to thank all my fans, friends, Armor King, and the Tekken Committee for their support.******

**IN MEMORY OF KING THE FIRST******

**THE END******

**King's film got a standing ovation.******

**"That was beautiful," said Jun.******

**"That film gives me a whole different perspective of you," added Lei.******

**"Dude, where was the beer in that film?" asked Hwoarang. He shrugged his shoulders. "Oh well, it still kicked, man…"******

**"Marvelous work, King!" commended Michelle.******

**"Damn, if they don't give you an award, I'm going to kick the judging panels' asses," said Kazuya.******

**"Thank you everyone!" exclaimed King.******

**Lee wiped away a tear from his eye. "Our next film is by Julia Chang and Ling Xiaoyu, titled 'Super Magical Fighter Girls J and L'."******

**Kazuya reached for his red flag, but Jun rapped his hand lightly with a ruler.**   
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**"SUPER MAGICAL FIGHTER GIRLS J AND L"******

**(Julia and Ling are walking to school.)******

**Ling: So I was like, "Oh, he's so cute!", but my friend says that the guy was so taken!******

**Julia: That is such a bummer.******

**Ling: No kidding! Hey, is that like, our math teacher over there?******

**Julia: (looking) so it is. But she looks weird.******

**(The teacher suddenly glows)******

**Ling: Like, oh my God! She's totally transforming into something, and it looks like a gross one!******

**Julia: Should we transform!******

**Ling: Duh!******

**Julia and Ling: SUPER MAGICAL FIGHTER GIRLS TRANSFORM!******

**(Julia and Ling go through a flashy transformation sequence, transforming them into mini-skirt-clad go-go boots-wearing Magical Fighter Girls!)******

**Julia: Super Magical Fighter Girl J!******

**Ling: And like, Super Magical Fighter Girl L!******

**Julia and Ling (posing): We are Super Magical Fighter Girls J and L!!******

**(The monster turns around to face the girls.)******

**Monster: I am the dreaded Lady Algebra Instructor! I will destroy you pesky Super Magical Fighter Girls!******

**Julia: Oh yeah? In the name of Fighting, I will punish you!******

**Ling: That's right! We like, fight for Love, Justice, and Girl Power!**   
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**Kazuya clamped a hand over his mouth so that he may not let any obscenities slip.**   
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**(Julia and Ling fight Lady Algebra Instructor, who is attacking the heroines with razor-sharp mathematical ditto sheets. Julia and Ling dodge the attacks, and weaken the monster.)******

**Julia: Super Girl Power Mega Ultra Punch!******

**Ling: Fantastic Burning Phoenix Punch of Love!******

**(The special attacks destroy the monster.)******

**Julia: You're dusted!******

**Ling: Yeah!******

**(The two pose)******

**Julia and Ling: Just another day's work for SUPER MAGICAL GIRL FIGHTERS J AND L!******

**THE END******

**The audience applauded, mainly because they didn't want to be beaten up by Julia, Ling, Michelle, Ganryu, or Jin.******

**Kazuya grabbed Jin by the collar of his shirt. "When we get home, we're going to have to have a talk about who you choose to have a relationship with."******

**"Whatever," replied Jin.******

**"That was, uh, interesting," said Lee. "And now for our next film…"**   
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**Narrator: Since my hands are cramping up, I'm just going to give you a run-down of the rest of the movies made by the Tekken Committee: Lei and Bryan worked together to make a flick in which Lei kicked butt with his many stances while Bryan got shot at and blown up; Jun played with Kat-zumi in their film, and got many people saying "awww"; Paul rode around on his motorcycle with Law trying to act like he's having a good time, but you could tell the he was freaked out (and Kazuya threw a wrench at Paul, because he said that Paul was wearing his biker outfit and that there was no way that the biker outfit was better than the purple suit); Anna's was about her trying to decide what dress to wear (and it lasted fifteen minutes); Ganryu's was about how he was a failed romantic (Michelle wasn't too thrilled with the film); Jin didn't make a film because he said he had enough groupies and fans already, so Kazuya decided to smack him upside his head (and Jun scolded Kazuya for it, and scolded Jin for not participating) and Michelle's film was about her and her collection of axes, which made Lee very nervous.******

**Narrator: (drinks water) That run-down was too long! Anyway, let's see how the Rival Tekken Committee will do with their films:**   
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**"Alright, our first film from the Rival Tekken Committee is titled 'Heihachi's Dream', by Heihachi Mishima," announced Lee.******

**The audience applauded, except for The Tekken Committee (Kazuya was heard shouting "My dream is for Heihachi to have a sudden heart attack and DIE!").******

**(The film starts, and we see a busty woman sitting on top of the hood of her car. A cop pulls over and approaches the woman.)******

**Cop: Is there a problem ma'am?******

**Woman(who is acting rather poorly): There sure is, officer. My car broke down, and I need a jump-start for it.******

**Cop: I'm afraid you can't leave your car in the road. I'm going to have to take you in.**   
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**"I suddenly don't like where this is going," said Kazuya.**   
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**(The cop cuffs the woman.)******

**Woman: Ooh, not so tight now, officer.**   
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**Ganryu stood up, and shouted, pointing at the screen: "Hey, I think I saw this on the Hardcore Channel the other night!"******

**The audience gasped, but then stared at the sumo wrestler.******

**"I just happened to flip by that particular scene, that's all," he said, and the audience continued to gasp at what they saw on the screen.******

**"Holy shit, what are they doing?!" asked Michelle.******

**"Why, I believe it is called 'sex' ", King answered. "But…I don't remember it ever being done like THAT."******

**"Turn the damn thing off!" shouted Kazuya. "Before several people get really horny or something!" and then he muttered, "Myself included."******

**Lee quickly removed the film.******

**The Rival Tekken Committee stared at Heihachi.******

**"I, uh, must have grabbed the wrong film," he said.******

**Lee shrugged his shoulders. "Let's try it again. This is Kunimitsu's film, entitled 'Hidden Beauty'.**   
**"**   
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**(A masked woman who looks nothing like Kunimitsu jumps around. When she lands on the grass, a masked man awaits her.)******

**Masked Man: I have been waiting for you.******

**Masked Woman: As have I.******

**Masked Man: It is time I unmasked you.******

**Masked Woman: And I you.******

**(The two immediately remove each other's masks, and make out. Then, they start removing clothing, and…)**   
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**"Hey Ganny, did you see this on the Hardcore Channel too?" King whispered to Ganryu.******

**Ganryu hung his head in shame. "Yes," he admitted, "But I was only flipping by it!"******

**"Okay, that is REALLY nasty right there," commented Lei.******

**"They're upside down even!" exclaimed Jin. Jun immediately covered Jin's eyes.******

**"Okay, you don't see stuff like that in the Kama Sutra," commented Anna.******

**Lee removed the film.******

**"Okay, did you bring a bunch of porno flicks instead of your Committee flicks to this thing?" asked Kazuya.******

**"I might have…accidentally picked up…the wrong films," Heihachi admitted.******

**The Rival Tekken Committee became angry at Heihachi.******

**"All that work for naught!" exclaimed Kunitmitsu. "Oh well, there's always the Sundance Film Festival."******

**"So much for my chance at a music career," muttered Eddy.******

**Roger said something in Kangaroo which translated to something like "I could have been a famous boxing Kangaroo, until that old coot screwed it up!"******

**Heihachi quickly left the theater, followed closely behind by his angry committee.******

**"I guess that means we're the better committee by default," said Nina.******

**"So…do we go ahead with the awards anyway?" asked one of the judges.******

**"YES!" Answered the committee.**   
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**THE AWARD CEREMONY******

**The lead judge decided to name the winners:**   
**"The winner for 'Best Actor' goes to…King! The 'Best Actress' award goes to Michelle Chang!"******

**King and Michelle were cheered on as they took their awards.******

**"I'd like to thank my family and friends for this," said Michelle.******

**"Thank you all for your support over the years man! We gonna party at my house later tonight!" announced King. The crowd really went wild.******

**The lead judge continued:**   
**"The winner of 'Best Picture' goes to 'Beer, Children, and Wrestling Mats: A Small Autobiography', by King!"******

**King ran up to accept his second award. "Oh hell yeah! Two awards! There's going to be a REALLY big party tonight!"******

**"Winner of 'Best Soundtrack' goes to 'It's a Wonderful Riff!' by Hwoarang!"******

**"The film WAS the soundtrack," Kazuya commented.******

**Hwoarang ran up to accept this award. "Dude! I'd like to say 'Rock on' to my band, and to the Committee, you guys kick ass!" Hwoarang held up a slayer, and walked off the stage to loud applause.******

**"The winner for 'Best Action star' goes to Nina Williams!"******

**The crowd applauded, especially Kazuya (because he supported her big-time, not otherwise, you spoony bard).******

**"I would like to thank Kazuya for all his support, and the rest of the Committee, including my sister, no matter how much I may hate her, the thought of her was what made me get into the mood for my role in this picture. Thank you all!"******

**"I don't know whether to be pissed off or honored," said Anna.******

**"Rock on, Nina!" shouted Hwoarang.******

**"Good job, girl!" shouted Michelle.******

**"Kick-ass work, Nina!" hollered Kazuya.******

**Nina smiled, took a bow, then sat down.******

**"I thought you had that job to do," reminded Jun.******

**"Hey, you never know when I'll win another award," said Nina.******

**"This is true," replied Jun.******

**"The winner of 'Best Costume goes to…"******

**Kazuya and Paul were in suspense. Kazuya was very calm, while Paul was very nervous.******

**"…Kazuya Mishima!"******

**"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" laughed Kazuya.******

**"Duh!" exclaimed Ling.******

**"Come on, you just can't beat a purple suit," said Julia.******

**"And to think I get to see it whenever I want," said Jun as she giggled.******

**"Gross," whined Jin.******

**Kazuya ran up to the stage to accept his award. "I'd just like to thank those of you who have supported my purple suit, and have lived by the motto: NOBODY messes with the purple suit! Oh, and Paul: Booyaka! I win, you lose!"******

**"Okay, I hope he NEVER says 'booyaka' again," said Law. "That just doesn't sound right coming out of his mouth."******

**Law was smacked by a Grammy.******

**Paul folded his arms. "It had to be rigged."******

**"Come on, a biker outfit going up against the purple suit…you didn't have a chance," said Lei.******

**"Besides, purple suits are much cooler to look at, dude," added Hwoarang. Kazuya gave Hwoarang a funny look.**   
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**AFTER THE FESTIVAL******

**The Tekken Committee stood around holding their awards.******

**"Well, that's it then," said Kazuya. "We showed that second-rate committee that we rock, but more importantly, my purple suit has been proven ultimate once again!"******

**Jun kissed Kazuya on the cheek. "That you did. I'm so proud of you, honey!"******

**"So, we're meeting next week?" asked Yoshimitsu.******

**"Hell yeah! So long as I have ideas, we'll always be meeting!" answered Kazuya.******

**"At this point, I may never get out of it," muttered Paul, who was still bitter at losing the "Best Costume" award to Kazuya.******

**"Cool! Alright, who wants to party?" asked King.******

**Everyone followed King, except for Kazuya and Lee, who decided to catch up to the rest of the Committee later.******

**"I need your honest opinion, Kazuya," said Lee.******

**"Yeah? What is it?"******

**"It's about my film…do you think it really sucked?"******

**"Hell yes. But hey, I don't hold that against you. You got an award, didn't you?"******

**Lee shrugged his shoulders. "Yeah…I didn't even know there was an award for 'Best Way of Destroying an SUV'."******

**Kazuya shrugged his shoulders too. "Oh well. Come on, we have a party to go to."******

**"Alright, but on the way, could you PLEASE tell me how you know Sephiroth?"******

**Kazuya checked his watch. "Okay then…See, I was at the dry cleaner's picking up my purple suit, when Sephiroth showed up, and…"******

**Narrator: So the Tekken Committee proved that they were capable of making good films when compared to the Rival Tekken Committee.******

**Kazuya nodded. "But most importantly, my purple suit proved to still be the best."******

**Narrator: Yeah, sure, whatever. So, you think we'll be hearing from the Rival Tekken Committee again?******

**"Who cares? My purple suit is ownage!'******

**Narrator: Oh, God….*leaves***   
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**AND NOW, A WORD FROM KAZUYA MISHIMA******

**"Okay, this was actually one of the more normal (if you can believe that) stories in the Tekken Committee series. But just when I thought was going to be portrayed as a more normal person, I pull an ax-murderer number on Paul. He deserves it, but still, that's not what I would do at all! But hey, the author says it entertains, so I can live with that.******

**"Some of the films were something else. Mine was a little crazy, yet, somewhat factual: People really HAVE told me they bought black trench coats because of me. Maybe this will replace my purple suit trend? Anyway, Nina's was a bit of a rip of The Matrix (but we can look past that one, right?), I don't know what the hell Ling and Julia made (but I can tell you that they must have loved Sailormoon growing up), Lee's was really stupid, King's…was the only normal one, Yoshimitsu's documentary was really insane…I could go on about it more, but I only get so much space to talk, damn author.******

**"Oh, and don't get me started on the porno flick scene with the Rival Tekken Committee. I thought it was really damn stupid, but it was also really damn funny.******

**"And for the record, I'm not as obsessed about my purple suit as I am portrayed to be. I really like the way it looks on me, but I don't beat people up for making fun of it, nor do I go around shouting 'Nobody messes with the purple suit!' "******

**"But you enjoyed the story, right? So, I guess that's it for this installment of Tekken Committee. Of course, the author is busy on the next one right now, and I hear it's really stupid. But hey, if people like this kind of stupidity, who am I to complain? I actually look forward to these, believe it or not. Until Next Time…"******

**NEXT EPISODE: Namco needs a new mini-game for the next Tekken game, and they are leaving that decision in the hands of the Tekken Committee! What will the mini-game be? Tekken Checkers? Tekken Baseball? Tekken Jenga? Tekken Monopoly? And what will become of those pictures that supposed journalist took of Kazuya and Lee's backsides? Wait and see in TEKKEN COMMITTEE: The New Tekken Mini-Game!**   
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**Oh yeah, in case you're wondering, here's a listing of all the awards won by the Tekken Committee:******

**KAZUYA MISHIMA: "Best Costume", "Best Use of Cosplay", "Best Cameo Appearance"******

**JUN KAZAMA: "Best Use of Nature in a Film"******

**LEE CHAOLAN: "Best Way of Destroying an SUV."******

**NINA WILLIAMS: "Best Action Star"******

**HWOARANG: "Best Soundtrack"******

**JIN KAZAMA: "Best Use of the Word 'Whatever'" (even though he wasn't in a movie…I guess the lady judges chose him anyway)******

**JULIA CHANG and LING XIAOYU: "Best Special Effects"******

**YOSHIMITSU: "Best Camera Work"******

**KING: "Best Picture", "Best Actor"******

**MICHELLE CHANG: "Best Actress"******

**KAT-ZUMI: "Best Cat in a Film", "Best Purr"******

**LEI WULONG: "Best Use of Many Stances"******

**BRYAN FURY: "Best Stuntsman"******

**PAUL PHOENIX: "Best Vehicle Stuntsman"******

**FORREST LAW: "Best Scream"******

**GANRYU: "Best Attempt to Make Everyone Feel Sorry For Him"******

**ANNA WILLIAMS: "Best Make-Up"**   
  
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	6. MiniGame Hunt!

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**TEKKEN COMMITTEE PRESENTS:**   
**THE SEARCH FOR THE NEW TEKKEN MINI-GAME******

**By Saiyan Rage, the certified Kazuya stalker**   
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**It all started with a reminder:******

**"Hey, Namco wants us to come up with a new mini-game."******

**Lee glanced at his brother. "Why can't they do it themselves?"******

**Kazuya shrugged his shoulders. "Hell should I know. They just want us to come up with something."******

**Lee lit a cigarette. "Whatever then.."******

**"Right. Call the Committee."******

**Narrator: So Kazuya once again called the committee for another life-changing meeting.******

**Kazuya looked at the narrator funny. "Why would it be 'life-changing'?"******

**Narrator: *shrugs shoulders* It sounded dramatic.******

**"Whatever."******

**"Who are you talking to?" asked Lee.******

**"Nobody, Lee! God, leave me alone."******

**Lee's lower lip trembled. "But...but..."******

**"I've called you all here because it has come to my attention that we need a new mini-game. I am leaving it up to you all to come up with something by tomorrow," explained Kazuya as he ignored Lee.******

**"Why so soon?" asked Jin.******

**"Because I have better things to do, honestly."******

**Jin shrugged his shoulders. "Whatever."******

**Kazuya was about to throw a podium at Jin, when Jun gave him her evil glare. He put it down immediately. "Anyway, we will meet in 24-hours, and I will determine if your idea is good enough. Hell, you all don't have to do it, but as long as you try, that's what counts. But I suggest you come up with something, damn it!!"******

**"Wait, how come you aren't going to do this too?" demanded Julia.******

**"How many of you want me to make the mini-game that will most likely involve my inflicting pain on you?" asked Kazuya. No hands were raised. He turned to Julia. "See?"******

**"I do now..." Julia thought about it for another minute. "Hey! Does Kat-zumi have to do this too?"******

**Kazuya laughed. "Don't be stupid! Kat-zumi is a cat; not to mention the cute, cuddly, fuzzy mascot. She probably couldn't do much."******

**Kat-zumi growled at Kazuya and bared her claws.******

**"Fine, FINE, you want to come up with a game, you go on ahead then," replied Kazuya as he rolled his eyes.******

**The cat purred.**   
  
**"Anyway, enough chit-chat. Get to it! NOW!!" The committee left the room in a hurry before they could be hit by thrown objects.******

**"Wow, not only was that short, but Kazuya didn't throw anything at anyone!" observed Julia.******

**"Don't worry, he will before the episode ends," replied Yoshimitsu.******

**" 'Episode'? What are you talking about?"******

**Yoshimitsu started to panic. "Well, what I mean, is...uh..." He quickly spun around and disappeared in a puff of smoke.******

**Julia scratched her head. "Okay…this Committee is just too weird..."**   
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**TWENTY-FOUR HOURS LATER******

**"I hope you all did the assignment...because I am not in a good mood today!" exclaimed Kazuya.******

**"Really...I didn't even know he HAD a good mood," muttered Bryan.******

**"I TOLD YOU I WASN'T IN A GOOD MOOD TODAY!!!" shouted Kazuya as he upper-cut Bryan in the face. After regaining his composure, he continued: "Who wants to present their idea first?"******

**The room was silent.******

**King raised a hand.******

**"Alright, what do you have?"******

**King placed two six-packs on the table.******

**Kazuya's face fell in his hand for a moment, then brushed his hair with the same hand. "Oh God, I think I know where this is going..."******

**"My mini-game is based around chugging. Let me demonstrate...Lei, come here."******

**Lei walked up to King.******

**"I will show you how to play. I open this can of beer, or many, if I can drink that much, and Lei opens his can of beer. Then we chug." King immediately chugged the six-pack of beer. "Whoever passes put first lose—" He immediately passed out. Kazuya drummed his fingers on his desk.******

**"Damn, do you chug that much beer on a regular basis?" asked Lei.******

**"I think I'm blind," whimpered King.******

**Kazuya shook his head and sighed. "Lei, hand me the rest of the six-pack King gave you. It will give me something to throw. Next!"******

**Ling decided to volunteer.******

**"And what do you have in mind?" asked Kazuya.******

**"Like, we could do a totally cool little beat-'em-up mini-game, you know? We could beat up Heihachi's little reject army, and like....why are you all looking at me like that?"******

**"I think there was something like that in Tekken 3...what was it now? Oh yes, TEKKEN FORCE!" exclaimed Jin.******

**Kazuya smiled. "Lee, take a note: 'Jin may show some promise after all'." Kazuya pressed a little red button, and a large metal pan fell on Ling's head.******

**"Like, why did you hit me on the head like that? You're mean," said Ling.******

**"Anybody else have an idea that they actually spent some time on?" demanded Kazuya as he ignored Ling.******

**It was Hwoarang's turn to share.******

**"As long as it doesn't involve drugs, I don't care what it is," said Kazuya.******

**"Alright, so I was having another one of my trips you know, in which I was this snowboard! Dude, it was pretty cool! Anyway, my idea is that we should have a snowboarding mini-game! That would kick ass, dude!"******

**Kazuya placed a finger on his chin. "I like that. Let's test it out."**   
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**AT SOME MOUNTAIN******

**"Okay, so what is the object of this mini-game?" asked Kazuya.******

**"Well, you have to execute all these awesome tricks to get points. You like, lose points for falling off, and messing up. Oh yeah, and your opponent can try to knock you off too."******

**"Does anybody else see a red flag shooting up?" asked Nina.******

**"What happens if you lose?" asked Yoshimitsu.******

**Hwoarang shrugged his shoulders. "Winner gets to wail on the loser with the loser's snowboard."******

**"Hell yeah!! I can do this then!" exclaimed Kazuya as he mounted on his snowboard. "Alright, who wants to challenge me?"**   
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**BACK AT THE COMMITTEE MEETING PLACE******

**"I'd just like to say you all suck," declared Kazuya. "What's so bad about competing against me in Tekken Snowboarding?!"******

**"You hit too hard," answered Lei.******

**Kazuya sighed. "You're a wuss, Lei. Hwoarang—"******

**"Dude, that's not my name!" exclaimed Hwoarang.******

**The Committee stared at Hwoarang.******

**"Uh, yes it is," replied Kazuya.******

**"Are you sure?" asked Hwoarang.******

**"Uh, yes."******

**Hwoarang stared at Kazuya. "Dude, wait you said...oh...oh yeah! You're right, that's my name, sorry man, it's just that I hear stuff."******

**"Wonder why," muttered Kazuya. "Anyway, Hwoarang would have been able to participate if not for the fact that he kept going on about the how snow was talking to him...so far his is the best idea."******

**"I got an idea, wanna hear?" asked Ganryu.******

**"Actually, no," answered Kazuya.******

**"Aw, it's a good one, I promise! Anyway, the game is like a dating simulation. As the guy, you have to choose between Michelle, Julia, Nina, Anna, or Jun. You have to please your woman enough so that she will devote herself to you."******

**The ladies responded by smacking Ganryu upside his head, except for Nina, whose high-heeled shoe hit Ganryu on the head.******

**"Ganryu, you need a life. Lee, take note of that. Does anybody else have an idea for a good mini-game? Otherwise, it's the snowboard mini-game for all of you guys."******

**Yoshimitsu raised his left hand.******

**"Alright, I see you Yoshi, now stop spinning that damn hand; you're making Hwoarang trip out," said Kazuya. Yoshimitsu stopped spinning his hand, and Hwoarang groaned, and looked at the sword instead.******

**"Dude, it glows," he said.******

**"My idea is Tekken Monopoly!" Yoshimitsu announced proudly.******

**Kazuya raised an eyebrow. "That's...it?"******

**"Nonononono! I've got a board and pieces and money and everything!" he exclaimed. He disappeared for a minute, and then another minute later, he reappeared with the game itself.******

**"Okay, so you play it like regular Monopoly, except the places are based on the ones in Tekken, and playing pieces are based on some of the characters, which I carved myself," explained Yoshimitsu.******

**"Hey, is that me?" asked Nina as she picked up a piece. "How cute! And to think you got all of my features on a rather small piece, too."******

**"Hey, I can see a Paul piece all the way from the back of the room," said King.******

**Paul examined the playing piece that resembled him. "My God! My hair isn't THAT high...is it?" He looked at the rest of the Committee. They all looked around in every which direction other than Paul's, and whistled.******

**"Come on! I have the right to know!" he shouted. He was smacked by the remaining six-pack of beer.******

**"And there goes the rest of the six-pack," said Kazuya.******

**"Aha! See, I knew it! I knew Kazuya would throw something!" exclaimed Yoshimitsu.******

**"How?" asked Nina.******

**"You have ESP or something?" asked Jin.******

**Yoshimitsu suddenly realized that he let something slip. Kazuya knew what was going on.******

**"Oh, look how nice my piece is!" exclaimed Kazuya in an attempt to change the subject. The Committee stared at him.******

**"Why are you all staring at me?" asked Kazuya.******

**King snickered.******

**Lee smoked his cigarette while shifting his eyes left and right.******

**"That sounded kind of...dirty," answered Anna.******

**"How so? I was just commenting on my playing piece."******

**All the ladies, except Ling, giggled.******

**"I don't get it," said Ling. Julia whispered the explanation to Ling, and then Ling giggled.******

**"You're all so weird," said Lee.******

**"What is so damn funny—oh, I get it. I see what's so funny. First of all, I said 'piece'; and I meant the playing piece of me in that Tekken Monopoly game, not the one you're all thinking about."******

**"There goes all my pure thoughts," said a blushing Jun. Kazuya started to blush.******

**"Oh, GOD!" shouted Jin. "I'm disturbed for life now."******

**Kazuya stopped blushing. "You're all really horny people, you know that? Lee, memo: The whole Committee is as horny as I am, maybe more so."******

**Lee grudgingly took the memo.******

**"Anyway, Yoshimitsu, you did a really good job on this piece—you even got my spiky hair down too," Kazuya said to again change the subject. When he touched one of the small spikes, it pricked his finger and blood began to spurt out. "Okay, they're really sharp, and I'm losing an unusual amount of blood," he said with an unusual calmness to his tone of voice as he tossed the piece aside so he could suck the blood from his wound.******

** "The boot's in there too," added Yoshimitsu.******

**"Okay, why is the boot in there?" asked Bryan.******

**"People like the boot," answered Yoshimitsu as he shrugged his shoulders. "Anyway, the currency is also based on Yen, since it was easier for me. Oh yeah, and I have dice too—they glow in the dark! Neat, huh?"******

**"It glows," said Hwoarang.******

**"Yoshi, you just have too much time on your hands sometimes," replied Kauzya. "Besides, it would be too much trouble, what with the royalties, and the fact that it's going to be programmed, so it wouldn't be as fun."******

**Yoshimitsu groaned, and hung his head.******

**"But," continued Kazuya as he pulled out his checkbook, "For half a million Yen I'll buy your product, and I'll throw in an extra hundred thousand if you can keep quiet about it."******

**"Deal!" exclaimed Yoshimitsu as he shook Kazuya's hand and took the check. Kazuya put the board game into his trench coat.******

**"Alright, so any other ideas?" asked Kazuya.******

**"How about Tennis?" suggested Julia.******

**"Okay," said Kazuya. "Just give me five...minutes...I think I lost...so much...blood..." Kazuya started to stagger.******

**Julia sighed and rolled her eyes(which is a typical teenager thing, of course).**   
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**THE TENNIS COURT******

**"Alright, so it's like any other tennis game, huh?" asked Kazuya.******

**Julia nodded. "I'll demonstrate...who wants to be my partner?"******

**Ganryu's hand immediately shot up.******

**The committee watched Julia beat Ganryu down at tennis. However, Ganryu didn't mind, especially whenever Julia(who wore a very short tennis skirt) bent down to tie her shoes, exposing her panties to the Committee.******

**"Whoa, baby," said Jin. Michelle smacked him upside his head.******

**"Don't look at my daughter that way!" warned Michelle.******

**"Yes ma'am," muttered Jin.******

**"Okay, that's more than enough of Julia I needed to see," said Nina.******

**"So basically, it's Tekken Tennis with Julia as Anna Kornicova," concluded Kazuya. "I'll pass."******

**"You fool!" shouted Ganryu. Moments later, he was suddenly smacked in the head by pair of tennis shoes.******

**"You want to repeat that, Ganny-boy?"******

**"Uh, not really," answered Ganryu as he rubbed his aching head.******

**"Good. Alright, back to the Committee room," said Kazuya.**   
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**BACK AT THE COMMITTEE******

**"Okay, so that sucked. Anyone else have an idea that will save this meeting (and this fic for that matter?)?" asked Kazuya.******

**"You bet I do," answered Nina.******

**"Well, what is it then?" asked Kazuya.******

**Nina smiled as she pulled out a shotgun.**   
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**AT THE SHOOTING RANGE******

**"There are people out there that may get frustrated playing against a certain char, and they'll get mad, and say 'oh, that Paul is just a cheap-ass, I just want to shoot him!' or something of the like," explained Nina.******

**"Hey, why was I used as an example?" asked Paul.******

**Nina shrugged her shoulders. "People hate you."******

**Paul gnashed his teeth. "That's not true!"******

**"Uh, actually it is," replied Bryan. He held up a printout that showed a poll asked on a very popular Tekken message board. Paul snatched the results, and looked at it.******

**"Well I'll be damned," he said. He sniffled. "I'm kinda...hurt."******

**"Anyway," continued Nina, "Certain characters would use a certain weapon, for example: I would use a rifle, since I have experience with those. Kazuya looks like someone that could use something that means business, like a shotgun."******

**"Single or double-barrel?" he asked.******

**"I'm thinking single. Lei would definitely be a handgun user, since he's experienced with those. Bryan I can see with an Uzi."******

**"Hell yeah!" he exclaimed.******

**"I don't think this would be a very good game...I don't want to see a rendered version of myself with a gun," said Jun.******

**Nina froze. "Aw, shit."******

**Kazuya nodded. "It sounds fun, and besides, any excuse to shoot Paul is a damn good one, but there is NO WAY this game could make the final cut."******

**Nina sighed. "Senate hearings?"******

**Kazuya nodded as he rolled his eyes and sighed. "Yeah...especially that one country that's always wasting time trying to find a way to stop video game violence. Oh well, we can always dream."******

**Nina sighed again. "This is true." She sighed, and then saw Anna laughing at her. "Like you can come up with anything!"******

**Anna brushed a hand through her hair. "Of COURSE I can."******

**"Oh lord, more sibling rivalry," muttered Lee.******

**Kazuya nodded. "I know. That's just so stupid."******

**"You're telling me. By the way, we going to play Jenga later?"******

**"Yeah. I'm going to own you, Lee."******

**"Yeah right! I'm so much better at that game than you!"******

**"You are not, you fruity nicotine-sucking, Honda-worshipping, silver-haired freak of the week!"******

**"Oooooh," said King, Yoshimitsu, Bryan, Paul, Law, Julia, and Lei.******

**Lee gasped out of being offended. "Take that back you spiky-haired, purple-suit-worshipping, in severe-need-of-a-valium-shot psycho!"******

**"OOOOOOH," said the entire Committee (except for Jun.).******

**"Damn!" exclaimed Jin.******

**"Fight! Fight! Fight!" chanted King.******

**Kazuya was in severe shock; he was speechless. So Kazuya decided to respond in the only way he could:******

**He rushed at Lee, and Ultimate Tackled him.******

**"Take that back, you bastard!" he shouted as he punched Lee.******

**"You first!" he spat back.******

**The Committee just stared as the two threw punches and kicks at one another. Lei yawned, while Kat-zumi stared at the clock.******

**Lei decided to take an opportunity.******

**"So Jun, what say you and I go out for coffee?" he offered as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder. Jun was about to answer, when Kat-zumi jumped up, and scratched Lei's face repeatedly while hissing and spitting.******

**"OWW! Damn...what did the cat do that for?!" cried Lei.******

**Jun stroked the cat. "Kat-zumi says to never hit on me again, unless you want her and Kazuya to double-team your ass."******

**Kat-zumi purred in agreement. Moments later, Kazuya ran up to Kat-zumi and gave her some dried fish.******

**"Good, Kat-zumi...you learned that so well!" he praised. He turned around. "Alright, ROUND 2, LEE!"******

**The two brothers went at it again with the punching, kicking, and name-calling.******

**"Dude, I got the munchies," Hwoarang said out of the blue.******

**"Anyone want to order some pizza?" suggested Michelle.******

**"Yeah, I'll chip in," said King as he pulled out his wallet.******

**"Me too," agreed Yoshimitsu as he pulled some cash out from out of nowhere.******

**"Whatever," said Jin as he handed his share of money to Michelle.******

**"Make sure you get one with spinach," said Nina.******

**"Yeah, I'll pay for three!" exclaimed Paul. "Give her some cash, Law."******

**Law glared at Paul as he pulled out a wad of cash. "Man, when are you supposed to get that job again?"******

**Paul rolled his eyes. "I told you, when the company's not on strike anymore. In the meantime, just keep that tab running."******

**"If I keep it running, it's gonna run out of places to run to," muttered Law as he wrote the numbers down.******

**"You better save some for us!" shouted Lee as he kicked Kazuya in the side.******

**"Yeah, we're going to be really hungry after this fight!" exclaimed Kazuya as he punched Lee in the gut.******

**The rest of the Committee just sighed.**   
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**THREE HOURS LATER, BACK AT THE COMMITTEE**   
**"Okay, so there was a slight delay, for which we apologize for," apologized Kazuya (who was perfectly fine for someone who had been fighting.).******

**Lee (who had a cast on his arm and bandages on his face) rolled his eyes. "How the hell are you okay? I hit you a lot!"******

**Kazuya looked at Lee smugly and answered, "I can't help if my face is too perfect to be damaged."******

**Paul scoffed. "Yeah right. More like too flawed to be damaged—"******

**Kazuya immediately tied Paul up, and hung him out the window.******

**"Anyway, where were we? Oh yes, anyone else have any mini-game ideas to share?"******

**Lei volunteered.******

**"My idea is Tekken Scrabble. You get points for making Tekken-related words. Who wants to test it out with me?"******

**Julia and King raised their hands; Kazuya joined in because he was the head of the Committee and whatever he said, goes (or something like that).******

**"Alright, I'm assuming you all know how to play, so just get your letters, and let's play," said Lei.******

**Kazuya went first (for obvious reasons). His word was "Devil". The rest of the Committee tried not to make any jokes about this. Julia's turn came, and she came up with "Nina." King managed to spell out "Armor King" (How he got that from eight letters, I don't know), and then Lei put in "Jun", but then Kazuya spelled out an obscene word directed towards Lei(after drawing more letters, of course), then threw the board and the pieces at the poor supercop.******

**"Well, that mini-game would have meant more royalties anyway, and people would find a way to spell those obscenities, as I demonstrated," Kazuya said. "Anyone else have an idea?"******

**Anna raised her hand.******

**"Alright...what's your idea?"******

**Anna smiled, turned the lights off, closed the curtains, and turned on an overhead projector. "My idea is for Tekken KiSS sets."******

**Kazuya raised an eyebrow. "Say what?"******

**Anna rolled her eyes. "They're like electronic paper dolls. You can dress up the guys any way you please—of course, there's only four guys I put in there, since they're the most popular."******

**Kazuya whistled. "I can only guess who they are…"******

**Anna put a sheet on the projector, and it showed Lee, Jin, Hwoarang, and Kazuya.******

**"Oh God," Kazuya said.******

**"Oh God," Jin said.******

**"Oh man," said Lee.******

**"Huh?" said Hwoarang.******

**Anna smiled. "See, I feel that the Tekken market needs more female gamers. I think KiSS sets of the four of you would help to sell the Tekken franchise even more. Oh, and don't worry, you can only be stripped down to as much as your underwear."******

**"Probably because it wouldn't be approved if it went any further than that," muttered Nina.******

**Anna ignored her older sister. "So, what do you think?"******

**"Whatever," said Jin.******

**"I'm alright with it," shrugged Lee.******

**"Dude, what was I thinking about again?" asked Hwoarang.******

**"Hell no," said Kazuya.******

**"Why not?" asked Anna.******

**"You think I want to see a bunch of psycho fan girls strip me down on a regular basis? My poor Jun would have to deal with the constant phone calls and e-mails; it's just not worth it. Besides, if the girls want to see me stripped down so badly, they can get a pencil and paper, and draw it. Next!"******

**Nina laughed at Anna as she stomped to her seat.******

**"Hey, how come I wasn't in the KiSS set?" asked Paul(who must be some kind of Houdini to be able to get out of the predicament he was in just minutes ago).******

**"People just don't like you, Paul!" she answered.******

**Paul sniffled, and his lower lip trembled.******

**Law decided to present his idea.******

**"That's pretty damn shocking; you're never really saying or doing much in this Committee," commented Kazuya.******

**Law shrugged his shoulders. "I figured I may as well go with it, seeing how I'll never get out of this Committee."******

**"Damn straight! So your idea is…?"******

**"Well, I was thinking somewhere along the lines of Tekken Ping-Pong."******

**Law pulled out a ping-pong table. "Who wants to play me?"******

**"RIGHT HERE!" volunteered King. King immediately jumped to the opposite side. "We just play it like regular ping-pong, right?"******

**"Yep. Of course, some characters will hit harder than others," explained Law. He picked up the ping-pong ball, and hit it with the paddle. King hit it, but it hit Law in the head and knocked him out.******

**"Oh, now I see how different strengths can make the difference," said King. "Uh, Law?"******

**"Damn, that ping-pong ball was pretty light," said Lei. "How'd you manage to knock Law out like that?"******

**King shrugged his shoulders. "I guess I just don't know my own strength."******

**"That, or Law just has a really weak head," added Bryan.******

**Kazuya rolled his eyes and shook his head.******

**"Meow."******

**"Hey, what's your idea, Kat-zumi?"******

**"Meow...mreow...yowl...meow, meow," answered Kat-zumi. The Committee turned to Jun.******

**"Kat-zumi is suggesting a 'virtual pet' kind of mini-game, except rather than take care of a pet, you take care of a Tekken character," answered Jun.******

**"Meow, meow, yowl, mreow, *purr*."******

**"She says that you would have to take care of that character by feeding and training it, making sure it gets plenty of rest before any fights, and of course, fight against your friends. She says it will be an online sort of thing."******

**"What happens if the character gets neglected?" asked Julia.******

**"Meow...mreow, mreow, meow, *hisss*!"******

**"If the character is neglected," translated Jun, "They end up disowning you, and throw you off a cliff."******

**Kazuya screamed. "Painful memories, painful memories..." he curled up in his chair shaking violently.******

**"Meow."******

**"She says she's just kidding," said Jun. Kazuya immediately calmed down, and slicked any loose strands of his hair back.******

**Kazuya took a deep breath. "Hrm...I'm not really considering use for it as a mini-game..."******

**Kat-zumi hissed, arched her back, and approached Kazuya.******

**"...BUT I think we can make a whole new game out of your game, Kat-zumi!" Kazuya quickly added.******

**Kat-zumi purred.******

**"Alright," said Kazuya, "If we don't have a mini-game soon, I'm just gonna go home and go to bed."******

**Silence.******

**"Okay, you're all fresh out of ideas?" he asked.******

**"It would appear so...you rejected just about everyone's ideas, except for Hwoarang's, but we don't wanna do that one; and you decided that Kat-zumi's should be a game on its own," answered Michelle.******

**Kazuya leaned back in his chair. "Well then...I guess I will just tell Namco we don't have a mini—"******

**It was at that moment that a ball hit Kazuya in his forehead, knocking the Committee leader down.******

**"Oh my God! Someone hit Kazuya with a dodgeball!" exclaimed Lee.******

**The Committee crowded around Kazuya, who was lying unconscious on the floor.******

**"Damn, I may insult and contradict the guy, but I would never throw a dodgeball at him," said Paul.******

**"Kazuya! Kazuya! Speak to me!" cried Jun as she lightly slapped his hand.******

**"Okay think I am I," Kazuya replied groggily.******

**"Uh...did he just...?" asked Lee.******

**"Uh, I think he's getting his sentences mixed up," answered Bryan.******

**"That's it, this Committee is just getting too weird for me," said Julia.******

**"Are hell you the about talking?"******

**"Damn, how hard was the ball thrown?" asked King.******

**"Threw hell more who the importantly in that?" asked Kazuya.******

**"What did you say? I don't understand," said Jun.******

**Kazuya rolled his eyes.******

**"Dude, he's wants to know who in the hell threw that dodge ball," Hwoarang answered.******

**The Committee looked at him.******

**"Dude, it's not that hard to figure out!" exclaimed Hwoarang.******

**"High are unless you," muttered Kazuya.******

**"Dude!" exclaimed Hwoarang "I'm trying to help you out here!".******

**"Only Mishima knew was a if that I you," Kazuya said to himself.******

**"How do we fix this?" asked Lee.******

**"Dodgeball me the again hit with," answered Kazuya.******

**"Hit him again with the dodge ball," translated Hwoarang.******

**"I can do it!" volunteered Paul.******

**"No hell!" exclaimed Kazuya. He threw a golf club at Paul, knocking him out, then said "It Jin do can."******

**"Dad, I don't know what you said, but I just know you want me to hit you with the dodge ball. I'm not going to hit you in the head with a dodgeball."******

**"Are you yes."******

**"No I'm not."******

**"Ass your me make don't kick."******

**"Jin, please do what your father asks. I know these circumstances are strange, but he would really appreciate it."******

**"Normal just talk wanna again I!" exclaimed Kazuya.******

**Jin rolled his eyes. "Alright, fine." He picked up the dodge ball, and bounced it.******

**"Bouncing damn throw stop it and that!" shouted Kazuya.******

**Jin gave Kazuya a puzzled look.******

**"Dude, he says 'Damn it, stop bouncing that and throw!'"******

**Jin gnashed his teeth and threw the ball, and it smacked into Kazuya's head, knocking him out once more.******

**"Oh my God! Someone hit Kazuya with a dodgeball....again!" shouted Lee.******

**"Kazuya, Kazuya, are you okay?" pleaded Jun.******

**"Yeah, I'm fine now...and I'm making sense!" answered Kazuya.******

**"Just why the hell did you talk like that anyway?" asked Nina.******

**Kazuya rubbed the back of his head.******

**"I guess I should have told you all sooner. See, when I was dropped off that cliff, I hit my head pretty hard. After I got out of that coma, all my sentences were literally mixed up, so my dad knocked me out again, and I was fine. Stupid father, this is all HIS fault—"******

**"You never saw a doctor about this?" asked Michelle.******

**Kazuya shrugged his shoulders. "I didn't think I would get hit in the head that much."******

**"But what happens when you do that Stone Head throw?" asked Jun.******

**"Well, that just causes a speech impediment that I'd rather not admit about right now," Kazuya answered sheepishly.******

**Jun and the rest of the Committee shrugged their shoulders.******

**"Glad we spent a lot of time on that," Bryan said sarcastically.******

**"Anyway, let's just forget that incident for now, and get back to the subject: who the hell threw that dodge ball?" asked Kazuya.******

**The Committee was quiet.******

**Kazuya slammed his fists on the table. "You mean NOBODY saw it coming?"******

**The Committee shook their heads.******

**Kazuya twirled the dodge ball on his index finger. "Oh well...I guess that person won't be credited for creating the new Tekken mini-game: Tekken Dodge Ball."******

**"Hey, shouldn't we vote on Tekken Dodge Ball before we decide to put it in the game?" asked Julia.******

**"We didn't vote on the others," replied Kazuya.******

**"Well, I just want a vote, okay?"******

**"Alright, fine, we'll take a vote. Those in favor of Tekken Dodge Ball say 'aye'."******

**"AYE!" shouted the Committee.******

**"Alright, then it's unanimous. Tekken Dodge Ball it is. Wait a second, why did you all agree on this one?"******

**"Hitting you with that dodge ball actually felt kind of good," answered Jin. He was suddenly hit in the head with a dodge ball, knocking him out of his chair.******

**"Jin!" cried Julia.******

**"Kazuya!" scolded Jun.******

**Kazuya shrugged his shoulders. "What, I can't discipline my son? Alright, anyone else have a good reason for this to be the new mini-game?"******

**"Well, it's like mine, but there's no guns; so it's okay to have Tekken Dodge Ball," answered Nina.******

**"I'm good at dodging!" exclaimed Yoshimitsu.******

**Kazuya sighed, then shrugged his shoulders. "Oh, what the hell, you all liked it, so why should I complain...alright then, I'll send it to Namco tomorrow."******

**The Committee cheered.******

**"Now then, who's up for Tekken Monopoly?" asked Kazuya as he pulled the game out from his trench coat. "I'm the boot!"**   
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**Narrator: So the Tekken Committee eventually agreed on a mini-game...******

**"I still don't know who threw that ball," said Kazuya.******

**Narrator: What I don't get is that whole scene where you're talking strangely.******

**"I already explained how I got that way, and it was fixed...although I have a headache now, and I think I'm starting to hallucinate."******

**Narrator: Maybe you should get some rest.******

**"No, I'm okay, I can take this kind of punishment—" Kazuya immediately fell to the floor.******

**Narrator: *sigh***   
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**AND NOW, A WORD FROM KAZUYA MISHIMA******

**"Okay, this was a little more absurd than the previous story...namely that part where I mixed up the words in my sentences and the circumstances that must occur in order for it to happen. Just so you know, I don't talk like that if you hit me with a dodge ball—in fact, hitting me with a dodge ball will only make me mad—unless I'm playing it, of course. And just who threw that ball anyway? Oh, chugging as much beer as King did would definitely KILL YOU in real life. Thank goodness it's only a fanfiction.******

**"What was really silly was the part where the Committee made a double entendre out of the sentence 'look how nice my piece is'. I really can't say anything about this part though, because I may just get a little too...well, you know.******

**"However, I thought the part where Lee and I were fighting was pretty funny. A nice twist on the 'sibling rivalry' previously seen through Nina and Anna.******

**"Anyway, this was an absurd story...which is good. Part 5 wasn't really absurd, and that scared me! But seriously....well, enough from me. Until Next Time."**   
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**NEXT EPISODE: Meet the Unknown that is...uh...Unknown! What is she here for? Who is she, really? What does she want? Why does Kazuya say "Twah"? All this and some absurd stuff in the next TEKKEN COMMITTEE: UNKNOWN MAKES HERSELF KNOWN! Wait, that's a contradicting title....Oh no, I can't change it because it's made official! CRAP!!!!**   
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